Bachelorette Post #8

However, a brief snippet of Christy's life first. Saturday's wedding went very well. I think I totally rocked the mike as MC (ha-ha). People seemed to find me funny, and the Madrika who conducted the ceremony (it was a Jewish wedding) seemed to really find me funny because she raved about me twice. I also managed to convince people to run around like they were contestants on the Price Is Right, and really enjoyed seeing two wonderful friends get married. It was also great to have the opportunity to catch up with some of my favourite people in the world.

Anyway, as the Flight of the Conchords song goes, it's business time. That is, let's get to this episode of The Bachelorette. Oh, and the previews keep showing that someone has problems with the type of business that that FoC song actually refers to.

Off to Hawaii Jillian and the three remaining dudes go. She has some alone time to write “J + ?” in the sand. This is my problem too, but I don’t have a show to help me find the answer.

First up is Kiptyn. And they’re off on some exciting activities, while the rest of us shmucks are stuck going for coffee, dinner, drinks, movies, etc. for our dates. Too bad we all can’t score a reality show.

Oh and they come up with all sorts of wise relationship metaphors as they do a crazy rope course.

From watching the Bachelorette with me, Mathew has become highly sensitive to Jillian’s squeals and likens them to nails on a chalkboard.

She and Kiptyn have a dinner where they talk about leaps of faith and blah, blah. Then, they decide to use the same room card. And, there are no bedroom problems that we know of.

Second up is Reid. We miss the beginning of their helicopter ride because we are making frozen yogurt sundaes. Yum. Anyway, more talk about marriage, and expressing feelings, and such. Quite frankly, I was more interested in my sundae. (Not to diss the show, but it was a tasty sundae.)

However, apparently Jillian feels the way about Reid as I did about the sundae: head over heels. Now she’s talking about him moving to Vancouver because it’s easier for her. Honey, trust me it’s not easy for anyone to immigrate to another country. It’s not liking changing provinces, dear.

Mathew says that Reid must feel hot in that pressure cooker, considering all of the questions.

Here comes the fantasy suite card. I wonder if the host, Chris Harrison, actually handwrites those things himself, ha-ha. They decide to take it. She’s being quite the strumpet this episode she is.

And then we see them in the bathtub together. I think there’s such a thing as showing the audience too much. And what are their mothers going to say?

Next up is Ed. Lots of making out. She’s worried that she hasn’t met his family. Turns out his family called him Richie growing up. Some swimming. And now: surprise! He flew out his parents for her to meet. Mathew thinks this is against show rules, I point out that I don’t think the show *has* rules.

Mathew finds that this episode longer than usual. Then he makes fun of Ed’s green shorts, which I point out were his swim trunks.

They go to meet Ed’s parents. And after a lot of talking, awww, shucks, another pair of parents adore her.

And now it’s fantasy suite time! And a lot of talk. And now more making out. And talk about how much they like each other and how they are falling for each other.

Okay, now I have to watching them massaging oil into each other. TOO MUCH!

And now… the moment we’ve been waiting for… they have some problems. Maybe it’s the fact there are cameras and people everywhere???

Now it’s time for Jillian to talk about all of her feelings with the host. Dude’s got the easiest job ever.

She’s watching individualized videos from each of them. This is such a game show.

Now it’s rose ceremony time. Who is going? Mathew and I both say not Ed, despite bedroom problems. Mathew calls Reid to go because he seems farthest away from proposal, but I call Kiptyn because I think there is less chemistry between Jillian and Kiptyn than Jillian and Reid.

First off, Jillian wants to talk to Ed alone about the whole… well, bedroom thing.

Hmm, she gave the rose to Kiptyn. I’m wrong. And Ed gets second rose. Poor Reid has to go home. Awww. Now she tells him that she’s just not sure he’s in the same place as her. Now he’s all worried he didn’t open up soon enough. Now they have to say goodbye. He’s driven off in a limo, she sits on a bench and cries.

So next week they are changing Hawaiian islands, and we also get an exciting reunion show where all of our favourite characters such as Foot Fetish Tanner, Angry David, and Weasely Wes return.

Then in two weeks, it’s done. Oh, and I *will* be here for it. Phew!!

I took the train back; back to where I came from.

Yesterday I took the train home to good ol' St. Ratford. I love taking the train home in the early evening in summer because it means daylight. Taking a train in the darkness is a little bit boring because trains don't follow roads, so it can be a very dark journey and you don't see much. Which means that you can be productive and do some knitting, reading, napping, marking, or whatever strikes your fancy. However, it leaves very little opportunity for gazing out the window and daydreaming, which is what I'm all about.

Last night's train was great for the gazing and daydreaming. I saw all kinds of nifty things including scads of bright orange tiger lilies by the tracks, rivers, people fishing in the rivers, random backyards, dilapidated barns, a deer hopping through a meadow, cute little towns, baseball games in progress, old churches, and a hot air balloon.

Anyway, I'm in town for the wedding of my friend Sandra. My friend Sandra is one of the members of my group of pals from high school. We call ourselves "The Group of Nine" because well, there are nine of us, and we needed some thing to call our little motley crew and couldn't come up with something better. Anyway, we've been out of high school for eleven years now, yet we've still kept in really close touch. The internet has helped: we have our own little facebook group is the grown-up virtual version of our cafeteria table. It was the cafeteria where friendships were forged, strengthened, and many of our inside jokes began.

The nine of us actually haven't been together in the same room since the year 2000 though. We always have an annual Christmas gathering, and there have been some other weddings, but calamity (or schedule conflicts) tends to befall one of the members, and we end up with a family portrait with eight or less. We do however draw their face on a piece of paper and hold it up in their memory.

The last time we were together was when we *all* met Sandra's-then-boyfriend-now-husband Jason. So I think it's befitting that it takes them getting married for the nine of us to make it together again.

But wait, didn't I just call Jason Sandra's husband and they are getting married tomorrow? It's true - they actually got married in October. Jason is from the US, and Sandra wants to live with him after their (July 11th) wedding, so they had to get married early so that could happen because of the crazy red-tape that faces a Canadian marrying an American. So remember this when/if you watch that silly movie The Proposal, or are watching the Canadian Bachelorette choose her American suitor. Oh Jillian dear, you might not get to the altar as soon as you'd like I'm afraid.

Anyway, I get to be the emcee of the shabang tomorrow, so I'm at a coffee shop working on my schtick. It's good that I've started writing this post, because I feel that I've gotten my verbal juices flowing.

And, if my witty observations don't wow them, the cute new shoes and dress I got to wear will! It's always good to have fashion to fall back on.

(Belated) Bachelorette Post #7

Last night I made social plans on Bachelorette night. Luckily, I had a super-fun time, so it was completely worth missing the show. Of course, I taped it as I promised, but I’m only getting around to watching it now ‘cuz I spent my day watching the Michael Jackson memorial and talking on the phone.

It’s a sub-average chilly day today, so perfect for staying in, eating grilled cheese sandwiches, and watching TV. I decided that I might as well tune into the MJ memorial because I was very curious to see it. My verdict: it was very tasteful, respectful, had some great performances and well… necessary. MJ was a star in a different time: his music was able to reach everybody, which I don’t think happens at all anymore in our segmented-internet-twittering society. I grew up on MJ. I am pretty sure that there is no contemporary artist that bridges so many gaps across age, race, nationality, etc. He was a great artist, a controversial figure, but still he managed to touch everyone with the cautionary tale that his life seemed to be. Yeah, there has been too much media coverage, as there is with any celebrity-related story or political scandal these days, but the memorial was completely appropriate for an entertainer of MJ’s stature, which we won’t see again and the fact that so many people have been entranced by this story proves to me that a good-bye was needed. When his little daughter spoke at the end, I cried. Most of all, I am sorry for his children’s and his family’s loss. At the end of the day, he was loved, and anyone who was loved deserves to be remembered.

ANYWAY, onto the Bachelorette on tape!

The show opens with a review of Jillian’s feelings for the final four (all of whom she’s crazy about), and with the ultimate question: “Will Jillian finally get rid of Wes?”

They are in Spain now. This show has a nasty carbon-footprint, eh? Each rejected bachelor should have to plant trees.

First up: Kiptyn. He says a proposal is far-off at this point. Jillian says she’s here to get engaged. Huh. Maybe some staged flamenco dancing will fix this philosophical rift.

Moped ride, kids talk, eating escargot, talk, talk, talk. Will they spend the night together? She rejects the idea because she’s not ready yet. But they do go “cuddle”.

Second: Reid. They go for a picnic. Oooooooooh, Jillian says “If Reid and I moved to Spain, I’d be so svelte and skinny because we couldn’t order food.” Like she’s not now? C’mon!

Talk, talk, talk. Reid has problems opening up. Yawn.

Dinner. More talk. Will they spend the night together? Declined again. Good girl, though. Four guys is too many.

Note: It’s so nice to fast-forward through “coming up next…” and commercials.

Third: Mr. Leave-Girl-for-Job-then-Return Ed. He couldn’t stop thinking about her when he returned back apparently. Now, they’ll talk alllllllll about it during a carriage-ride. Then they talk more and make out a lot. In a fountain even.

They walk into an old, beautiful building. Ed says “this place is 5000 years old.” Jillian: “Really?” Ed: “No.” Jillian: “I’m so gullible.” YEESH.

Now kid talk. He’s ready to have kids in 2-3 years. That’s what she likes to hear. Will she spend the night together? She declines, especially because she’s afraid he’ll leave again. But he says he’d like more time with him… she bites her nails. They go to the fantasy suite to “hang out”. HMMMMM. They’re going to sleep in their clothes and snuggle.

Fourth: Weasely Wes. He feels at home in Spain ‘cuz apparently one of his songs was #1 in Mexico. Eye-roll. Just leave him in Spain, I say. Maybe they'll like him.

Bike ride time. Then talk talk talk. Wes says all kinds of sweet nothings, but sits far apart from her and she feels no romance. Some more awkward moments, then Jillian calls it an afternoon.

Dinner time. Time for her to bring up the girlfriend thing. No girlfriend. What about the career? If he was here to sell records, he’d be gone. Why isn’t he showing her affection? More lame shifty answers. Oh, he’s sooooo not getting a fantasy sweet.

She brings up Laurel. He slips up and calls her his “girlfriend… I mean, ex-girlfriend.” Then the note about the fantasy suite is delivered with perfect timing. LOL He says “I think we should.” She puts him in a cab, but they’re still going to have a rose ceremony.

Kiptyn: “If it’s me boys, keep it real.” Wes “if it’s me, know I’ll be back home having lots of sex.” Poor Rilo wakes up when I scream. EWWWW. There goes any snack I plan on having. What an ASS. The rest should gang up on him and beat him to a pulp. Defend your woman boys!!!

Here she is. Call him out. Tell him off! C’mon Jillian! Don’t be nice to him!

First rose: Ed. Second rose: Reid. Wes whispers congratulations to Kiptyn. Third rose for him, of course. Now what’s going to go down?? Ahhh. I hope she tells the mofo off. She asks to walk him out. She holds his hand! I’d kick him. Or, better yet, I’d order a milkshake, have it delivered, and dump it on his head.

As if he gets a limo and that other nice dude was left on the tracks? And the scum points out he’s the first guy to make it to the final four with a girlfriend?? Then he disses the other dudes. I fucking hate him. I wonder if Jillian’s going to see his footage?

Awww, I like the other three. I call Ed for the win though.

Next week: They’re going to Hawaii. The carbon footprint gets worse. And they say the finale's in three weeks? Oh no! I'm going to be away. Sigh. I guess I'll find out the answer super late.

Up late reading & programming note

One thing I love about summer vacation is that I can stay up really late (3:38 am) finishing a book that I know that I won't be able to sleep soundly until I've finished.

This is the book:



Here's a great snippet from the Publisher that describes the book very succinctly: "January 1946: writer Juliet Ashton receives a letter from a stranger, a founding member of the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. And so begins a remarkable tale of the island of Guernsey during the German occupation, and of a society as extraordinary as its name."

If you need a lovely summer read, read it. It's a book entirely written in letters but done oh-so-well. It took me about 40 pages to get into, but once I was into it, I couldn't put it down.

It's a great post-WWII story. Don't you find there are so many great novels/memoirs written about that period? There are little bits of this book that show the kindness of humanity, even when humanity has sunk to its absolute lowest point.

It makes me want to visit the English Channel Island of Guernsey. Of course, I looked at maps of the island, the wikipedia entry, and the tourism site as I was reading the book. How people found out about random topics they didn't know existed before the existence of the internet, I'll never know. Well, they have to wait until the library was open the next day, I suppose. Man, I love immediacy.

Oh, and this book has the best last sentence of any book that I can recall. I won't write it here, 'cuz it will ruin the ending if you decide to read it.

Which you should.

It's also one of those books that was so highly enjoyable that I think about how I can ever read another book after enjoying this one so thoroughly. Argh, I shouldn't have read it so quickly, but I had to. I have a tonne of books to be read, but I think I'm going to read Julia Child's memoir next.

Oh, and programming note: my usual Bachelorette post will be delayed this week 'cuz I have social plans, so I'll set my VCR (I'm so ghetto), watch, then post as soon as I can.

You shine a light.

Friday of my first week off is fast approaching, and today I thought "thank goodness it's not March Break, 'cuz my holiday would be almost over". I usually find that the first week of summer vacation is rather unproductive in that I have to decompress from the school year and that pace of life. I had lofty plans like going to some a.m. yoga classes, but, well, sleeping in was too attractive an option.

So what have I been up to?

a) Shopping - I have two weddings to go to this summer, so I found a new dress and shoes for those. Luckily, they are weddings with entirely groups, so I can get away with wearing the same dress twice. Anyway, dress shopping can be stressful, but I managed to find an awesome dress at the second store I went to. Thank goodness.

b) Reading - I haven't read too much yet, but I did finish one book which is like the first book I've finished in a month. My brain seriously goes to jelly in June. Anyway, one of these days I'm going to make a pile of all of my unread books and make it a goal to get through them by the end of the summer.

c) Socializing - I love having time to hang out with people. I've spent this week chilling with fellow teachers, since we're all in the same position of having free afternoons. Today I had brunch with a couple of friends from work, then spent the afternoon chilling in a coffee shop with one. I love lazy days.

d) Constantines! - Yesterday, I caught the Cons playing a free show at the Harbourfront for Canada Day. They are a great live band, and near the end of the show, the fireworks at Ontario Place started to go off. So everyone turned away from the stage and watched the fireworks, but fireworks to the Cons' song "Shine a Light" are pretty awesome. Anyway, it was a great time, and only rained a little.

Here's a Cons video that I love:


Oh, and here's a picture of the CN Tower all lit up for Canada Day:


So yah, week one has been good. I really gotta do some heavy duty summer cleaning now that I'm sufficiently (or maybe overly?) relaxed and make a to-do list of things like getting my haircut, making a dentist appointment, getting some stuff ready for my trip, etc.

Also, just so you all know, there's a city workers' strike here in the city and it's pretty gross. There is no garbage pickup, so the city's decided to have people bring their trash to a few parks. Ewwww. Luckily I don't live near these parks but I feel sorry for the people who do. And why do these garbage strikes always happen in the summer?

Well, I don't like ending on that stinky note, but I have nothing more to say. Ciao!

True patriot love, a-la-la-la-la.

Listening to this song on heavy rotation is my Canada Day tradition. Sir Plaskett (I believe he should be knighted for his immense talent) is so cute in this one!



Happy Canada Day kids!

ps I'll blog about my life one of these days soon. Basically it involves relaxing, visiting, shopping, looking forward to trips, and iced coffee.

Bachelorette Post #6

Welcome to another weekly installment of my comments whilst watching The Bachelorette. This week it’s just me and Rilo, as Becca T is at her cottage, and Mathew is off somewhere. Makes it easier to focus on the show without constantly having to tell people to go get their own ice cream, LOL. I’m a horrible hostess once you’ve made it to the upper echelons of my friend list.

Anyway, Jillian is off to meet the families of the remaining five dudes. Must be fun knowing that in the end of this, she’s going to piss off 80% of the people from these visits.


First visit – Reid in Philly: She greets with a squeal. Dude greets her with a coffee ready. Bonus points for that. Hmmm, Philly looks nice. I’d go there some day if there was a concert there or something.

Nice family house. I wonder what would happen if someone’s family digs were totally dumpy. I guess they wouldn’t be allowed on the show.

Second Visit – Mike in ?: Turns out he’s a twin. She greets dude with a squeal. A little family chit chat. Now, the twins are going to do a switcharoo. That’s going to appease her concerns about his age, that’s for sure. Oh she notices right away. I’m surprised.

More talk about marriage and kids and family and the sister shows up from Australia.

Meeting all of these families would be nerve-wracking, eh?

Third Visit – Kiptyn in San Diego – When she talks about Kiptyn, I think he’s her fave. I pick him to win, even though I still like Mike the best.

I don’t like her outfit. The light blue dress just looks like a nurse’s uniform or something, and I don’t think the jacket really goes with the dress.

Aw, shucks, yet another family likes her.

And the visit ends with a little moment in the hot tub.

Fourth Visit – Jesse in Carmel Valley, CA: I find Jesse unattractive, but he *does* have a winery. So…

Hmmm, this seems to be the rockiest go so far. Jesse apparently hasn’t “opened up” enough yet. Rawbean, I’m unsure if you will be winning that wine of yours.

Oooh, I don’t think his brother describing him as an “emotional ice cube” is going to help anything.

Oh wow, look at the family rocking out. And aw, shucks, yet another family thinks things are going in the right direction. And end with kissing scene.

Fifth visit – Weasly Wes in Austin Texas: (Note: I love Austin. Wes does not deserve to be there.)

Ahh, another greeting squeal from Jillian.

And Wes introduces him to his second family: his band. Then they perform Wes’s watered-down whiny country shlock music. Puke.

And Jake flies in wearing his Pilot’s uniform to tell Jillian about Wes’s fuckwittery! Yes!

Oooh, Jake shows up to tell Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend. Named Laurel. Whooooa. And Jake says that Wes will say that Laurel is just a girl from the past. Lying liar! Argh!

And now she’s going to bust him. Well, not really. It seems like she’s falling for the “she’s my ex-gf and we’re still friends” bullshit. Oh, now it’s going to be Wes vs. Jake; mano e mano. LOL I think that Wes is trying to pull out the grade 2 “she’s a girl AND she’s my friend” definition of girlfriend. They keep arguing. Jillian says she needs time to think things through. Wes sits there smugly. Jake goes and cries.

So after all this she decides to go meet his family to see if she can trust him. Mathew (who just showed up) thinks that his family (step-mom and three sisters) is in on it. And then she decides that it’s a new beginning for them and that she trusts him. Argh. Why are women so stupid about men sometimes?

OMG and when you think things can’t get more emotional, then ED shows up!!! (Ed left the show a couple of weeks ago because of his job.)

And it’s rose ceremony time. Two are going home. I say Jesse and Wes.

The rest of the dudes are shocked when Ed comes back.

Rose time: it’s Reid, then Kiptyn, then Ed (!), then… Wes !?!?! WTF Jillian? You take questionable bad-boy over fun goofy Mike who’s all about the marriage and the children which is what you claim to be. Argh!

But I called Jesse. Sorry Rawbean. You don’t win your office pool. :(

Awwww, and Mike is gracious in defeat. Oh, he’s young, and would have married her in a heartbeat and cute and goofy. Awwww, this is so sad. And she keeps Wes. Grrrrrrr…

Oh Mike, you say you were probably in love with her, but you were probably just in love with the *idea* of her. (Mathew’s all like: Christy you should email him.)

And now it’s scenes from the next time. They are off to Spain! And it looks like Wes slips up on his own lies. Oooh, I can’t wait!