Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Seven Things.

I stole this meme from wigsf. Seemed like a good thing to do when I don't have much else to write about. It's quite simply seven things that you probably don't know about me.

1) My first time ever on a plane was when I was twenty-three years old. Destination: remote Northwestern Ontario via Winnipeg. I packed up everything I thought I'd need for a school year and took off to a strange land. It made me stronger and I'm glad that I did it. Could I do it again? Not in a heartbeat.

2) I never ever wear eyeliner. I think it makes me look weird. Eyeshadow's my game. Especially when it sparkles.

3) I've read "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" countless times, but never any of the other Chronicles of Narnia books. Ditto with "Anne of Green Gables" and the rest of that series. I'm glad I wasn't that way with Harry Potter.

4) My absolute favourite pair of socks are checkered black and white with skulls and cross bones. They were a gift from my pal AlieMalie who used to blog, but no longer does. It makes me sad that she doesn't blog anymore because she's going to Europe for Christmas and she's an awesome travel blogger. I'll miss reading about her travels.

5) One of my favourite Christmas memories ever is from 2001. Hawksley Workman was playing a free surprise Christmas show at the Rivoli, and it was announced the day before. One of my closest friends from high school (with whom I'm not in much contact anymore, sadly) took the bus from London in some nasty weather. The bus got in late, and we ran from the bus station to the Rivoli, in freezing rain, to stand in line.

We waited in line for what seemed like a very long time. There were Hawksley's elves handing out clementines and paper Christmas tree ornaments signed by Hawksley. Finally, we were at the front of the line, and then we were told the show was full and they weren't going to let any more people in.

Disappointment doesn't even describe how we felt. We were cold and wet, and all we had were paper ornaments and orange peels to show for it. The Rivoli has a front area, and the concert area is a special room in the back. I suggested that we hang out in the front area, and maybe we could at least hear the show.

We huddled near the back door and tried to peek in the window to see the show. The manager saw us in all of our pathetic glory, and said "Wow. You guys are die hard. It's Christmas! Get in there!" So after all that, we got our Hawksley Workman Christmas show, and only missed seeing part of one song.

(I thought of this story because Hawksley's Christmas song "A House or Maybe a Boat" was playing as I was writing this.)

6) In grade 4 or 5, I made a Canada goose out of paper mache. My teacher picked it to be displayed at the International Plowing Match which was being held somewhere in Perth County. I was honoured, but my parents never took me to see my goose in all its glory.

7) My artistic skills have not only netted me honour, but cash. I had an extremely lazy and inept grade 8 teacher whose idea of an art curriculum was making us draw posters for contests. I took great offence to the fact that we were forced to create posters about farm safety for one such contest. I did not live on a farm, nor had I visited many. Farm safety was not an issue that I knew much about so how could I illustrate it?

For once in my scholastic career, I put very little effort into an assignment. My slogan was "a safe farm is a happy farm." The poster drew itself: happy sun, happy horse, happy farm family, happy cow, happy cat, happy chickens, happy dog, happy plants, happy bird flying through the sky, and I'm pretty sure I made the tractor happy as well.

A month later my inept lump of a teacher comes into class beaming. "Guess what class? Someone here has won the farm safety poster contest!"

Some jackass in my class said something along the lines of "Remember Christy's poster? It sucked! Imagine if she won? Hyuck-yuck-yuck."

Then my name was announced. My hypothesis: I got the pity prize for the child whose poster clearly wasn't at grade level, but dammit, they tried. (Which I didn't.)

To add to the good memories that I'm reliving through this meme, my dad and I had to go to the farm safety convention to pick up my $25. We had to sit through a hour long speech by some dude who got maimed by some piece of farm equipment. Both my dad and I squirmed throughout the entire thing. It was one of the worst hours of my life.

After this, everyone wanted to be my partner for any other poster contest we were forced to enter. In addition, every time I was at the mall debating on buying say, a new pair of purple jeans (it was the 90s), my dear friend Mel would say "you won $25 for your farm safety poster! You can afford it!" I've spent that $25 many, many times in my life. She'll still bring it up if we're on a shopping trip these days.

I also picked up $10 in the electrical safety contest. I don't remember that poster at all.

Anyway, those are my seven things you probably didn't know about me.


jason said...

That farm safety story is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

I like how old friends can bring stuff ancient stuff up that's totally and inside joke.

Highly entertaining post. Thanks for sharing.

rawbean said...

Pardon my french but that Farm Safety Poster is not only the most fucked up story I've ever heard you tell, but also the most awesome.


Princess Pessimism said...

I LOVE This...and its a big fuck you to that idiot in your class who made fun of your poster.

Siobhan said...

Love this post. Excellent, great stories. Just great.

Miss Ash said...

Okay the farm safety poster made me laugh....hilarious!

I also love eyeshadow that sparkles and just bought a whole box of it!! Woot!

The Grunt said...

Hey, we have something in common. I won a poster contest my senior year. It was for a roller blade 5k charity race. My poster was "radical" according to Mrs. Harvey, my art teacher.

Aaron said...

Haha Miss Safety!

Having driven through a lot of farm oriented Norfolk and Oxford Counties lately and seeing all their farming museums, I'd wager money on your papier mache being on display somewhere if you still wanted to see it.

galapogos said...

ha ha, that's fantastic!

The plane thing was pretty surprising. I didn't fly until I was 19 and I thought I was a late bloomer.

And I concur with the AlieMalie comment. It is too bad.

Claire said...

Bwahaha! I love the farm safety story!


Jabba said...

I grew up in Saskatchewan and don't remember doing any farm safety posters - what the hell?! LOVE that most-random story about yourself!

I want sparkly eye shadow too! What brand is best?

Nathan Rider said...

The major reason of this cable is to put back the customary sound system. It uses the digital technology different the traditional system which uses the electrical power.