This morning as I was sitting on the subway, I realized that I completely forgot to make my lunch. It wasn't even a "crap I forgot it on the kitchen counter" moment, but that the thought of assembling food to get me through the day didn't even cross my mind.
Not a big deal, I thought. I had some tangerines on my desk, and I could grab a bagel at Tim Horton's as I got my morning coffee.
When I got upstairs to my office, I realized that I completely forgot to pick up my bagel at the food counter at Tim's. Crap.
Luckily for me, I don't teach during the first period. I was assigned a coverage, but not until the second half. I threw on my coat and ran back to Tim Horton's where my bagel was still sitting for me as the employees chuckled over my forgetfulness.
As I was jay-walking across Bloor to make it back to school, a co-worker let me cross and offered me a ride down the street back to school. I told her about my forgetful morning, and she commented "when I'm out if it like that, usually it's something... it could be getting older, my period..."
"Oh, I know exactly what it is," I replied. "I'm just bothered/scared/anxious about the inauguration." And then we chatted about the myriad of terrifying problems that the new presidency will bring.
I guess that's my story about how today is a dark day and as a result I feel scattered, distracted, down. It's the symbolic beginning of potentially darker days to come.
I try to be optimistic: that with resistance he won't be able to change much, but we all know terrible things could happen. I try to think about all of my favourite quotes about how after darkness come lights, and so on, but I feel like today, I just need to embrace and feel the darkness and then perhaps get ready for the fight so that that the light can come through the cracks.
"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." - Leonard Cohen