Camp and burnout.

Tomorrow I am off to supervise a leadership camp for three days for the third year in a row.  This means that I had a late night at school assembling lesson plans for when I'm away, and I still haven't packed because I am watching postseason baseball.

Teaching is a profession where it's way more work to be away than to be there.  I carefully plan all medical appointments and yeesh, I even try to plan my illnesses.  My chin rash thing has cleared up, and I really hope that it does not come back for a third time, because I really don't have time/energy to take time off to go to the doctor.

Because I do a lot of extracurricular activities at my school, I totally understand the concept of professional burnout.  It's been ten years of working at this pace.  I sort of want to give up some of the extra things that I do, but I don't have the heart to, because I know that no one else would take it over from me, or if they did, let's face it, there would be a risk that quality would decrease.  (For some strange reason, my environmental club has attracted over 50 members this year, and I know it's because they've become a family that attracts new members, but having a fun moderator who looks for opportunities for them helps.)  However, instead of cutting back, I've decided that I have no more yeses to give this year.  If someone asks me to do anything else, all I have is nos.

I always have lots of fun at this camp because the kids are great, the facilities are nice, and my fellow supervisors are fun people to hang out with.  Sadly, the guidance councilor who organizes this program is retiring this year.  The joke is she's grooming me to take over, but I don't think I could handle the organizational aspect of this program on top of a full teaching load AND all of the rest of the stuff I do.  It'd be cool to find someone to team up with, but all of my friends are like-minded educators with a lot on their plates and no more yeses to give.

Anyway, sorry for the rant.  Some days I envy lazy teachers who do nothing, but I know I wouldn't be able to handle being one of those people. I just can't believe I'm this tired into September.  Although a lot of it is because I need to exercise more, which is a topic for another post.

Weekend/Question

The past weekend was pretty good.  Beautiful weather, drinks on a patio, baking pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, dinner with a friend, Jays season closer, and a few nice naps.

I excitedly booked Constantines reunion tickets waaaaaay back in June, not thinking that it would conflict with the annual school leadership camp that I chaperone annually.  (The date always changes, and I think I thought it was in September this year.)  Anyhow, I gave away my tickets to my friend the music teacher at work, and now I'm debating picking up a ticket for the Friday show for myself.  I could get a seated balcony ticket, and just chill up there with a beer.  I'll probably be tired from staying up late to ensure teenagers don't leave their rooms and get up to no good, but I should be OK to sit at a rock show, right?

What do you guys think?  Should I spend more money and take myself on a date to the Cons?

Update: Texted my pal Matt in Winnipeg re: this issue.  His response: "Yes! You love them! You'll have earned that sit [in the balcony]."  Thanks to this enabling, I've purchased a ticket.

Chin Up.

The inspiration for this post, is a comment by my pal Kevin on my previous post, which was to keep my chin (with its ugly mysterious rash) up during yucky times.

Bahahaha.  I literally laughed out loud at that.

BUT, today we got good news that the worst of the things that was troubling me is over, and the awful thing that was happening to the best person ever is over.  Phew.  I feel so much happier now.  The rest of the stuff seems less bad now.

Today after school I finally went for a run with my friend Sara.  We'd made plans to go for a run in High Park two weeks ago, but I had to cancel to go to a funeral visitation, and then she had to cancel because of work, but we finally got out today.  And it was a lovely warm day, and it was so much fun to run through the park.  I was reminded of the awesome stress relief/mood stabilization/energy that exercise gives me, and man, I need to get back to my A+ exercise habits.

The chin rash is still there, but has gone down.  I hope it doesn't reappear, because if it does I really will need to go to the doctor, and who has time for that?

But yah, I guess I'm feeling a bit better now.  I've got my Paris-inspired candle burning, a glass of red wine, and the baseball game now.  The Jays are now mathematically out of the playoffs, but I'm happy just to enjoy the rest of the season.  They have won their last two games, so yay!

Oh good, and now Rilo is throwing up on the floor, so I guess I'll go deal with that.

Update: She didn't, but it certainly sounded it like it.  Yay!

Shake it off.

Sometimes, even when one can be an insufferable music snob, shit gets so rough that only this Taylor Swift song will do.



I've had a weird maelstrom of negatively surrounding me lately.  Most of it doesn't even have anything to do with me.  It's just people around me are struggling, and it's brought me down.  I obviously can't write about these things here, but some of them are so unbelievable that they seem more like they are out of a movie than real life.  And, some of these events are happening far away, and the updates are few and far between, so all there is to do it worry.  Blargh.  Hopefully by the time I write again things will be better.

On top of that, I'm feeling hurt and confused because there was someone who seemed super into me, and then that someone asked to make plans with me over the weekend and then *poof* disappeared, and won't even respond to my text messages.  What the what?  I don't get things. 

Oh, and I think my skin is paying the price for all of this.  Three weeks ago, I got this weird rash on my chin (it seriously makes me look like I've fallen and hit my chin).  It cleared up in time for school picture day last week, and then boom! It came back again this morning.  I haven't been using any new skin products, soaps, detergents, etc, etc so I have no idea what could be causing it other than S-T-R-E-S-S.

But, but, but, there's always a bright side right?

Instead of moping around on Saturday night, I went over to my pal Mathew's house and watched him cook one of his 52 new dishes of 2014.  I insisted on opening a bottle of wine he'd been planning on returning to the LCBO (he's weird), and then we watched Dateline NBC and I had some good laughs thanks to creepy Keith Morrison.  I swear belly laughs are the best.

And, I had some good laughs/warmed heart on Friday afternoon during my prep period when I was returning to my office after photocopying some stuff, and a few kids came running out of the chemistry room shouting "Miss, there's a gas leak!" while they were holding molecular molecules of methane.  I pretended to drop my stuff and I replied that I would alert the authorities.

They had a supply teacher, and had clearly been snooping through cupboards instead of doing chemistry.  "Did you guys make those and wait for me all this time?" I asked, and they replied yes.  I grabbed my camera and made them re-enact the scene because really, that's a good memory to look back on when I'm feeling down and have a weird rash on my chin.

On Sunday, I met up with a friend for a spontaneous brunch, dropped by Starbucks where my pal Fea was marking for some laughs, then came home for my transatlantic bad movie date with my pal Claire.  We drank red wine and watched the same awful movie while texting back and forth.  It was fun.

And lastly, it looks probable that I'm going to get a former student as a student teacher in October.  She was an exceptional former student, so I'm quite excited.

I'll leave you with one of my latest musical finds that I don't feel guilty about.  I saw Lowell play at Field Trip back in June, and she was great.  Her album "We Loved Her Dearly" came out this month on Arts & Crafts, and I adore it.

You've got a lot on your mind.

This post is going to be all about music.

1) Sloan - Commonwealth

Sloan released their new album last Tuesday, and even though they were doing a performance/signing at the HMV by the Eaton Centre, I decided to skip it and go out for dinner with friends.  (Am I getting older, more mature, and less music-obsessed?  Maybe.  But it doesn't feel right to do Sloan-stalking without my dear Becca T.)

Yesterday, I went to Sonic Boom to buy the record, but they didn't have it.  Then I headed down to HMV and Sunrise by the Eaton Centre but no luck.  I begrudgingly bought it online, because I know that I wanted it on vinyl (it retrospect, I should have just preordered the thing).  Luckily, a download came with purchase of the record, and I've been listening to it since yesterday.

And I love it.

As you may/may not know, Sloan has four distinct singer-songwriters, and this album is a double album, where each writer gets a side.  I think I like the Jay side best, but I also really adore Patrick's side and Chris' side too.  I never really like Andrew's stuff, and his side is one seventeen-minute long song, which is so Andrew. 

This song by Jay is probably the album standout for me (so far).  It really really speaks to something happening in my life right now.  Sloan, how do you know me so well?  Also who can't love a song with "p.s. I like you" as a lyric?



23 years together and this band still releases interesting and creative music.  I can't wait until they announce a Toronto show for this album.

2) Brill Bruisers - The New Pornographers

This was the one album that I did manage to pick up yesterday during my record shopping trip.  I love it.  It's jangly pop music, with a lot of Neko Case vocals.  I'm just sad that they didn't include a download code with the vinyl.  (This rarely happens!)





3) Dream Serenade

I got tickets today to this October show at Massey Hall.  It's organized by Hayden (who's pretty much my #1 crush) and will feature performances by himself, Feist, Matt & Bryce of The National, and more.  It's a fundraiser for a charity that helps kids with developmental disabilities, so that's a pretty awesome thing.

4) OH NO!

It looks like I double booked myself.  For the past two years, I have chaperoned a leadership camp for my school.  The weekend always moves around.  I thought it fell this year in September, so I didn't worry when I bought Constantines tickets for October 2nd.  I was wrong.  BOO. 

(However they are playing on the Friday and I'm tempted to buy myself a ticket for that date...)

5) New Damien Rice!

After something like nine years, he's releasing a new album.  Sadly, I didn't realized he's playing here on October 14th and it's sold out.

Anyway, that sums up music news in my world.  What are you listening to these days?

Through cracks come the weeds.

Sigh. Autumn's here, and even though it's my favourite season and I should be excited, I feel that the autumn of 2014 might be the autumn of stuff falling through the cracks.

I would write more, since I haven't been able to put together a blog post in forever, but whenever I do it sounds whiny and pointless, so I won't.

I guess it's best to find humour in things. Last night I posted an emo tweet about something that seemed good just disappearing, and a friend of mine replied asking me if I was talking about the Blue Jays. I guess I've come across as super baseball obsessed this year, huh? And for the record, they haven't been disappointing in September,. The wild card is still a possibility!

Well I should use this cool autumn weather to continue my path of getting myself back to being 5K ready in a month. I has a lazy summer and I'm paying for it fitness-wise. However, I'm not going to become a better runner by writing mopey blog posts in bed, so I should lace up my shoes.

I'm in Stratford, I should mention! I saw Hawksley's play yesterday and it was awesome yet again!

I'm a survivor.

I made it through the first week of school, and holy hell did I feel exhausted.

At my school, they usually play music for the five minutes before class time to get everyone going in the right direction.  The kids choose the music and organize it, and since it's a new school year, we have some new tunes in the rotation.  (Thank goodness... Demi Lovato's "Heart Attack" was wearing on me.)  The new Friday morning song is "Survivor" by Destiny's Child, which was a fun choice.  I hadn't heard that song in FOREVER. 

This song caused my work spouse and I, who have the same prep period this semester, to play Beyonce during our prep.  I wasn't overly focused, so I decided to tweet the student council kids from my lame school-moderator account that we had appreciated Friday's music choice, and that a Beyonce party was happening in the science office.  They retweeted it to everyone who follows the student council account, so, oh good, the whole school knows.  Oh well, I think it's hilarious and it's good for kids to know that teachers are fun too.  (Maybe lame fun, but whatevs.)

Sidenote: my work spouse's class was telling her that Rhianna sang "Survivor" and she believed them, so I told her she needs to educate this kids on Beyonce history.  What are they teaching these kids?  Rhianna.  Yeesh.

I had a chill weekend.  I purposely did nothing on Friday because I knew I'd be shattered.  My Saturday night plans got postponed, but I had a nice Saturday afternoon.  My friend Fea told me that she was taking her kids to a neighbourhood park to have a picnic, so I planned that my 5K afternoon run would end at the park and then I hung out with them.  In the evening, I may have gone to Indigo and bought the Lego special-edition 30th anniversary Ghostbusters car (including all four Ghostbusters) and built that over the course evening while drinking a nice Beaujoulais, but maybe I didn't?  Maybe I am cooler than that.

Riot Fest was this weekend at Downsview Park with about a million bands that I love and you would have thought I'd been there but I just cannot handle Downsview.  Most of the bands I end up seeing on their own at proper shows, so I decided to opt out, even though it looks like everyone who went had an amazing time.

This week looks busy other than school.  On Monday I have a Jays game, Tuesday is dinner with friends, Thursday is running with a friend, and then on Friday I am heading to Stratford for the weekend. Yay!

September falls right into place.

This line comes from a great new Stars song.  The band released it yesterday in celebration (?) of back-to-school.



Yesterday was super easy.  I enjoyed seeing the kids.  I always say that my school has, for the most part, the nicest kids anywhere, and it's good seeing them again in September.  I have quite a few "repeat customers" in my classes, so it's nice to not really have the need to pretend that I'm tough (they know the truth... which is do your work and have fun in science). 

It was great seeing my colleagues again, especially those who are my close friends.  I'm so lucky to have lots of good friends at work, and usually we make an effort to get together once or twice over the summer, but it's nice to go back to seeing each other and joking around every day.

Today was exhausting though.  The second day is the day where I spend a lot of time talking to all of my classes.  I was so exhausted when I got home.  I managed to run a couple of errands, and get an evening coffee which is rare for me.  But despite the coffee, I still had to have a nap.

I keep coming up with good ideas for blog posts during my commutes, but then I forget them by the evening.  I need to keep a record of them.

Easy come, easy go.

Summer holidays, that is.

I can't believe that it flew by.  At the beginning of July, 2 whole months seems like a luxury that will never get spent, but it does.

I had a great summer, as you know.  July was relaxing, and August was mainly spent in Europe.  The past week I did go into school for three days: one day to plan an event, one day to plan my first week of lessons, and one day to execute the aforementioned event.  This weekend was spent with friends.  I went out to Ajax to visit my friend Flora, and then saw the Jays game on Sunday.  Today, I slept in, watched a movie on Netflix, went to the Eaton Centre to buy new black flats for school, went for a run, then made food for lunches for the week.  Now I am dying my hair (just making it a little darker) because that was the last thing I wanted to do before I go back.  (I'm sitting here with the stuff on my head right now.)

After that's done I will go sleep.  As much as I can.  The back-to-school jitters are always the worst.  I think I've decided on what to wear: a black skirt and a short-sleeved sweater.  The sweater may be a little warm, but I should live.  It's an easy day after all.   I always like to wear cute new stuff during the first week back.

I'll blog more interestingly later.