You can't wear your heart on your sleeve if you're just going to leave.

The highlight of my past week was that I had an A++ Saturday night.

I met up with my friend Elisa at the INSANELY BUSY AND PACKED Eaton Centre and we headed over to the INSANELY BUSY AND PACKED Cavalcade of Lights at Nathan Phillips Square. I want to go not so much for the light, but because Sloan was playing a post-fireworks show.

The fireworks show was pretty great.  I have seen a lot of fireworks in 2015: I saw Fourth of July fireworks at Comerica Park in Detroit during our baseball roadtrip, about four sets of fireworks during the Pan-Am games, and most randomly, the people whose backyard faces the back of my building had a November fireworks show a couple of weekends ago.  I was chilling with Rilo, and we enjoying the 30 minutes of backyard fireworks on a November night.  Why?  I really don't know.  But they were fun.

Anyway, Saturday night's fireworks were up there with the Fourth of July fireworks in quality.  After they were done, a lot of the crowd cleared out and we were able to get near the performance stage for Sloan.  They put on a really fun show.  I think it's the first time I've seen an outdoors wintertime Sloan performance, so I can check that off my list.  I really don't know how many times I've seen Sloan in my life, but thirty would be a reasonable estimate.

The show ended before 10 pm, so we headed to Queen St. for record shopping followed by drinks and nachos.  It was really fun; I haven't stayed out very late in awhile.  (Well, not since Nuit Blanche and CHVRCHES in October... so maybe I'm not as lame as I think?  I dunno, how many late nights are you guys pulling these days?  What's acceptable?)  I like staying out late!

Sunday was a day of hibernation and Nashville-watching.

Today was pretty swell for a Monday.  I escaped school with my grade ten class to go to the Science Centre for a day of learning, fun, and relaxation.  It was followed by a really long student council meeting, a longer-than-usual commute home, and me spending waaaaaaay too long writing a biology quiz, but it made for a nicer-than-usual Monday.  Field trips for life!

This week should be quiet but I really gotta get the Christmas shopping going.  I already have my first party on December 5th.  Tis the season!

Things I Did This Weekend

1) Went out for drinks on Friday after school with colleagues.  Came home and went to bed.  I'm officially old.

2) Saturday was super shopping day.  I had to exchange a necklace that I'd bought about a month ago at Swarovski because a couple of stones had fallen out.  So I did that, then got talked into buying the matching earrings.

After that, I browsed a shoe store and splurge on Blundstones.  I'd been wanting them for awhile and really like mine.  They have stripey elastics.

Mathew and I had plans to hang out for the first time since baseball season ended.  We ended up heading to Yorkdale, where I bought a new ring and a blingy toque with a pom-pom.  We also had dinner in the food court and watched highlights from the seventh inning of ALDS game five on his phone.  I think we're both still in withdrawal.

3) Today I watched a lot of Nashville on Netflix.  It's a super fun show to binge watch because you do not need to pay that much attention to a musical soap opera.  If I fall asleep for a bit, I can still figure out what's going on.  In between episodes I went for a coffee run, got groceries, and wrote a test.  So I think I managed to have a day that mixed the productive and unproductive.

Belly laughs.

I could really use a good belly laugh over something ludicrous that happens in real life.

The last time I remember one is when I took a class on a field trip in September, and the kids had to wear hip waders to collect bugs from the river.  One kid put his on backwards and got stuck in them. I have a photo of the facilitator patiently pulling him out of his waterproof pants.  It's hilarious.

I'm sure the darkness defines where the light is.

Oh, Paris.

I've probably been spending more time than is good for my mental health following Friday's attacks on Paris.

Some tragedies pack more of a punch on one's psyche for a myriad of reasons.  This one has really haunted me because it took place in my favourite foreign city.  I've visited Paris four times, and its streets, sights, smells, and sounds are ingrained in me.

The second reason that these tragedies are haunting me is that they affected innocent people doing things that I love to do: going to sports events, eating at cafes, and going to rock shows.

To think of people being targeted at events like these in a familiar city chills the fuck out of me.  I actually had a nightmare about violence at a concert the night after the attacks (I should have probably watched less coverage).  I actually went to a concert last night, and I felt so weird doing something that other people were killed doing the night before.

I've been reading a lot, and just not about Paris.  The day before there was a similar attack on innocent civilians in Beirut.  There was little coverage, and no global outpouring of grief.  Innocent people were doing every day things like going to the market, and lost their lives but it doesn't get the same coverage in the Western media because they look differently than we do, worship differently, and live in a part of the world where we assume that violent attacks are an every day thing.  We can so easily push that attack out of our minds.

I feel like absolute shit that Beirut has been ignored and what it means about humans.  And I am guilty of selective grief.  I think we live in a time where we are recognizing (and even fixing) so many of our failings.  There are valuable discussions going on about sexism, rape culture, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, body shaming, and so many other dangerous thought patterns that have hurt and oppressed many.  At the same time, there's a huge divide in how we react to tragedies that happen far away from us to people who are different than us.

We can do better.  Violence and hatred are definitely not the answers.

This Mr. Rogers quote has made me feel a bit better:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

We need love, light, and understanding for all people, no matter where they live, how they look, or who they worship.  I think understanding and helping will cure some of the world's evils far better than bombs or hate.

The Weeknd and etc.

It's been awhile, hey there, blogarinos.

Last week was pretty standard.  Busy busy at school, Friday night drinks after school, etc.

However, I felt pretty badass staying out late on Tuesday night!  And for benevolent reasons too!

Our school is partnered with an organization that aims to connect students with arts, culture, and sports.  They are able to get free tickets to a lot of events in the city and pass it on to students/  My colleague who is in contact with this organization is often looking for teachers to chaperone students to some of the these events.  We can often get executive suites at the ACC for shows, but they must have an adult in attedence.

Anyway, he put out an email saying that a student who had done some volunteer work in the community had gotten tickets to see The Weeknd, but needed a chaperone.  I figured that hey, if a friend had told me they had free tickets to that show, I'd say why not and go, so why not go with some kids?

Other than the student requesting tickets and her brother, I assembled some students together and we went to the show.  It was a great time.  Now, I know that The Weeknd's lyrics are not the most progressive, but I shut off my critical brain for a moment to enjoy the fact that the kids were having a great time at an even that they really wanted to be at.  I don't think most of them would have ever been able to afford the show, so it was a great thing to be able to do my part to make it happen.

***

It's still only November, but I can feel the year waning.  I'm still trying to kick this plague from Halloween, and I'm convinced that it's been holding on to me tightly because I haven't been taking very good care of myself this year.

I've not been making enough time or effort to eat properly and exercise.  I use the business of work as an excuse, and the fact that I've been teaching the senior level biology courses that require more preparation from me as an excuse.

I need to get the fuck out of this slump.  I feel like crap.  I have low energy, and I'm just not feeling like myself.  I don't get as excited for things as I used to.

I made the mistake of not traveling enough this summer.  My rationale is that I would save money and use the extra time to take better care of myself.  However, I spent more time watching TV than anything, which really isn't me.

I find myself sneaking out of making social plans to stay at home.  I use excuses like marking, cleaning, etc. but I tend to spend more time procrastinating than anything else.

I'm becoming my own enemy and I hate it.  I'm in a slump, and I'm doing it the way I do most things, with 100% effort.  I'm slumping big time.

I need to get through this week.  Report cards are due on Thursday.  After that deadline, I need to prioritize getting the fuck out of this slump.  I have some fun plans for next weekend: a concert and brunch with friends out of town.  This is good because I won't worm my way out of those things.

I will keep you updated on Operation Unslump.  It's on after report cards. I'm not waiting until 2016 to start pulling myself out of this mire.

Okay, vent over. 

***

Also, now that baseball is completely over, I am sadly realizing that it was my ultimate escape from reality.  I could slump away, but it didn't really feel like a slump because I always had games to look forward to.  It forced me to get out and socialize.

I guess my resolution for next baseball season is to go hard, but not to use it so much as an escape from real life.  Like 50% less escapism.

Halloween Plague

Something's been going around my school.  It's been hitting other colleagues hard, but I think I was lucky enough to only get a mild version of it.

I felt awful on Friday, and if nothing had been going on, I would have called in sick but because of some school events and a test I had planned, I wanted to be there.  I didn't have the energy to dress up on Friday.  I put on a tshirt with skulls on it and called it a day.

I think I've slept off the plague this weekend.  I managed to go out to see a movie last night but that was the extent of my celebrations.

And now that I'm feeling better it's time for more work. :/