It's the first storm of the year!

After a practically tropical December, it started to snow after a day filled with cold winds.  It now sounds like it's freezing rain out so yuck.  A perfect night to stay home, drink some wine, and cuddle with the cat.  I did have plans tonight but they got canceled on account of the weather and I'm kinda bummed, kinda not, maybe just somewhere in between.

I have a 6:40 am train to Montreal to catch in the morning, so maybe it's for the best that tonight is extra chill.  I still have to pack, but since I never sleep well the night before a trip, I'll do it later or maybe even at 4 am in the morning.  A 6-hr train ride gives me plenty of time to catch up on sleep.

Christmas was nice, hey? I always hate when it's over though.  I mean it's still the season but the inevitability of taking down the decorations, and going back to work looms.

I'm hoping 2016 is a better year.  Other than when it came to baseball-related adventures, and the usual assortment of concerts and stuff, I can't help but feeling blah about this past year.  Work was significantly more challenging since I had senior-level biology courses to teach that I hadn't taught before, and that took up a lot of time/energy but I still think I could have used the remaining time/energy more effectively.  Balance is always such a struggle, but I know that I can find it and I'm happier when I do.  A goal for 2016 right there.

Hope you are all enjoying your holidays.

Set Yourself On Fire

I was going to blog about the amazingness that was Stars' SET YOURSELF ON FIRE album show last night and all of the feelings it made me feel but...

I got caught up in the gripping but upsetting 10-part true crime documentary MAKING A MURDERER on Netflix as I did some light crafting.  Now it's 1:30 am and I'm going to live like I'm on vacation (because I am!) and watch the last episode.

It's not beginning to look (or feel) a lot like Christmas.

This weather!

It's December 13th and we haven't had any proper snow!  I think there was maybe one snowy morning in November, and I remember some flakes coming down on November 30th as one of my classes and I were making our way toward the Science Centre, but that's it.

It's been down right *warm*.  I have my windows open in my apartment to keep it from getting too hot inside.  I'm not complaining, I don't think, but I'm not feeling super Christmas-y at the moment.

However, I do think that I had a productive weekend on the Christmas front.  I got some presents wrapped, cards and packages mailed out, built a new Christmas decoration (a Lego gingerbread house), and my pal Mathew and I went out for dinner this evening to exchange gifts.  I have a list of things to do this week, but I don't feel that overwhelmed so that's good.

I also had a good weekend on the entertainment front as well.  I've been in a reading rut.  Over the past month, I've started about five different books but none of them could hold my attention.  Finally, I decided to go back and read something that I remembered as being amazing.  I borrowed the e-book of Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns which I think I read about five years ago.  I couldn't remember much about the plot.  All I could vividly recall is that I wept many time throughout the book.  It did not lose any power the second time around.

I watched a couple of episodes of Jessica Jones on Netflix.  I don't usually like superhero stuff, but this show grabbed me.  And hello feminism.  How often do we get a kickass woman lead in superhero stuff, and many of the other characters are women too.

I got distracted from Jessica Jones because I noticed that I had access to the second season of Transparent.  I watched the first season of that show over a couple of days over the summer, and really enjoyed its story of a man transitioning to a woman later in life and his dysfunctional family.  It also has moment of magical realism and genuine weirdness which I appreciate.

This week is going to be busy.  My goal is to get three productive days of work out of my classes, and then I have Christmas-related errands to run each night.  Not to mention a high school talent show to help produce (well, I'd say I'm a co-producer... I have lots of help from people with more expertise than I).

What a busy time!

What class is this?

A couple of former students came to visit me today.  They are in their third year of university, and like to visit every now and then.  I really appreciate that they organize their visits; nothing feels worse when former students come to visit and I'm in the middle of something and can't properly catch up.  They told me that they'd come during my period 3 class today which was fine since for about half of the class, my students were to be working on interactive activities and probably wouldn't need much direction from me.

Today about half of my period 3 class was away on a trip.  This class is small anyway; it's a grade 12 enriched biology course that's part of an academically advanced program that my school has recently offered. I've been teaching at a break-neck pace, and had a lesson ready to go about the history of vaccination, its immunological principles, and the use of monoclonal antibodies to make vaccines but when I saw that half the class was away, I decided to give them a chance to catch up on yesterday's work on the specific immune response.

Sometimes some of my students from this class hang out in my room during lunch.  Yesterday they were here, and I saw on Facebook that Serial (my favourite podcast) had released the first episode of the second season.  I got super excited, and started telling them all about last season and how good the show was.

Today one of them asked me how my podcast was, and then the others (who hadn't been there) wanted to hear all about it.  We decided to use today to catch up on work and listen to episode one (which I'd listened to yesterday).  At the same time, the VP of Student Council (who was on spare) came up to ask me if I wanted anything from Starbucks (he was going to the mall), and I let others place their order too.

My former students came to visit as we were just discussing the podcast and our drinks were being delivered.  They asked "what class is this?" and I sheepishly admitted it was the enriched biology class but we usually do a lot of work and don't listen to podcasts and get Starbucks hand-delivered to us.  I found it hilarious because it really looked at that moment that my standards were slipping!

(Note: the kids were as amused as I was by the cliffhanger ending of Serial when Sarah Koenig phones the Taliban like it's no big deal.)

O the rising of the sun and the running of the deer.

I have finally got somewhat into the Christmas spirit.  I've been to a Christmas party, the tree is up, and I've been listening to my Los Campesinos! Christmas album on my record player.  I've decided that their version of "The Holly & The Ivy" is my official 2015 Christmas jam.



I had a good weekend.  On Friday, I ran a few errands and then came home to finish season three of Nashville on Netflix.  Season four is currently on the air, but not yet on Netflix, so now what to do with life?  (I did start Jessica Jones tonight which is really good, so maybe I'll be okay.)

On Saturday, I got up early to walk the Santa Shuffle 5K (a fundraiser for a homeless shelter in Toronto) with some student from my biology class.  They actually organized it themselves and needed a tenth on their team, so it was me.  Most of them were walking it, and since it was advertised as a run, they were worried they'd be judged.  I assured them that I've done these things before (including this exact race twice), and that others would be walking and no one would be judging and they'd be fine.  After it was done, they gave me an enthusiastic "you were right!" as they scarfed down complimentary hot dogs, hamburgers, donuts, and hot chocolate.

I haven't run a race in all of 2015 and I miss my running days so much.  It's my fault for allowing myself to fall into a spiral of laziness, but being at a race makes me miss it so much.  I gotta start training again in the new year.  It'll be hard, but I hope my body will remember how to be fit and slide back into it.

On Saturday night, I had a Christmas party to go to which was all right.  Today I had a lazy-ish Sunday but got my nails done and my tree up.  I'm giving myself a weekend off of homework and it's great.

I booked a New Year's trip to Montreal with my friend Vern this evening.  I'm glad to get away for a change of scenery.

Also, I don't think I mentioned it here, but I've booked a trip to the Dominican for March Break with my friend Nadine.  Luxury and warmth in three months here I come.

But I have to make it through the next two very busy weeks of school first.

You can't wear your heart on your sleeve if you're just going to leave.

The highlight of my past week was that I had an A++ Saturday night.

I met up with my friend Elisa at the INSANELY BUSY AND PACKED Eaton Centre and we headed over to the INSANELY BUSY AND PACKED Cavalcade of Lights at Nathan Phillips Square. I want to go not so much for the light, but because Sloan was playing a post-fireworks show.

The fireworks show was pretty great.  I have seen a lot of fireworks in 2015: I saw Fourth of July fireworks at Comerica Park in Detroit during our baseball roadtrip, about four sets of fireworks during the Pan-Am games, and most randomly, the people whose backyard faces the back of my building had a November fireworks show a couple of weekends ago.  I was chilling with Rilo, and we enjoying the 30 minutes of backyard fireworks on a November night.  Why?  I really don't know.  But they were fun.

Anyway, Saturday night's fireworks were up there with the Fourth of July fireworks in quality.  After they were done, a lot of the crowd cleared out and we were able to get near the performance stage for Sloan.  They put on a really fun show.  I think it's the first time I've seen an outdoors wintertime Sloan performance, so I can check that off my list.  I really don't know how many times I've seen Sloan in my life, but thirty would be a reasonable estimate.

The show ended before 10 pm, so we headed to Queen St. for record shopping followed by drinks and nachos.  It was really fun; I haven't stayed out very late in awhile.  (Well, not since Nuit Blanche and CHVRCHES in October... so maybe I'm not as lame as I think?  I dunno, how many late nights are you guys pulling these days?  What's acceptable?)  I like staying out late!

Sunday was a day of hibernation and Nashville-watching.

Today was pretty swell for a Monday.  I escaped school with my grade ten class to go to the Science Centre for a day of learning, fun, and relaxation.  It was followed by a really long student council meeting, a longer-than-usual commute home, and me spending waaaaaaay too long writing a biology quiz, but it made for a nicer-than-usual Monday.  Field trips for life!

This week should be quiet but I really gotta get the Christmas shopping going.  I already have my first party on December 5th.  Tis the season!

Things I Did This Weekend

1) Went out for drinks on Friday after school with colleagues.  Came home and went to bed.  I'm officially old.

2) Saturday was super shopping day.  I had to exchange a necklace that I'd bought about a month ago at Swarovski because a couple of stones had fallen out.  So I did that, then got talked into buying the matching earrings.

After that, I browsed a shoe store and splurge on Blundstones.  I'd been wanting them for awhile and really like mine.  They have stripey elastics.

Mathew and I had plans to hang out for the first time since baseball season ended.  We ended up heading to Yorkdale, where I bought a new ring and a blingy toque with a pom-pom.  We also had dinner in the food court and watched highlights from the seventh inning of ALDS game five on his phone.  I think we're both still in withdrawal.

3) Today I watched a lot of Nashville on Netflix.  It's a super fun show to binge watch because you do not need to pay that much attention to a musical soap opera.  If I fall asleep for a bit, I can still figure out what's going on.  In between episodes I went for a coffee run, got groceries, and wrote a test.  So I think I managed to have a day that mixed the productive and unproductive.

Belly laughs.

I could really use a good belly laugh over something ludicrous that happens in real life.

The last time I remember one is when I took a class on a field trip in September, and the kids had to wear hip waders to collect bugs from the river.  One kid put his on backwards and got stuck in them. I have a photo of the facilitator patiently pulling him out of his waterproof pants.  It's hilarious.

I'm sure the darkness defines where the light is.

Oh, Paris.

I've probably been spending more time than is good for my mental health following Friday's attacks on Paris.

Some tragedies pack more of a punch on one's psyche for a myriad of reasons.  This one has really haunted me because it took place in my favourite foreign city.  I've visited Paris four times, and its streets, sights, smells, and sounds are ingrained in me.

The second reason that these tragedies are haunting me is that they affected innocent people doing things that I love to do: going to sports events, eating at cafes, and going to rock shows.

To think of people being targeted at events like these in a familiar city chills the fuck out of me.  I actually had a nightmare about violence at a concert the night after the attacks (I should have probably watched less coverage).  I actually went to a concert last night, and I felt so weird doing something that other people were killed doing the night before.

I've been reading a lot, and just not about Paris.  The day before there was a similar attack on innocent civilians in Beirut.  There was little coverage, and no global outpouring of grief.  Innocent people were doing every day things like going to the market, and lost their lives but it doesn't get the same coverage in the Western media because they look differently than we do, worship differently, and live in a part of the world where we assume that violent attacks are an every day thing.  We can so easily push that attack out of our minds.

I feel like absolute shit that Beirut has been ignored and what it means about humans.  And I am guilty of selective grief.  I think we live in a time where we are recognizing (and even fixing) so many of our failings.  There are valuable discussions going on about sexism, rape culture, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, body shaming, and so many other dangerous thought patterns that have hurt and oppressed many.  At the same time, there's a huge divide in how we react to tragedies that happen far away from us to people who are different than us.

We can do better.  Violence and hatred are definitely not the answers.

This Mr. Rogers quote has made me feel a bit better:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

We need love, light, and understanding for all people, no matter where they live, how they look, or who they worship.  I think understanding and helping will cure some of the world's evils far better than bombs or hate.

The Weeknd and etc.

It's been awhile, hey there, blogarinos.

Last week was pretty standard.  Busy busy at school, Friday night drinks after school, etc.

However, I felt pretty badass staying out late on Tuesday night!  And for benevolent reasons too!

Our school is partnered with an organization that aims to connect students with arts, culture, and sports.  They are able to get free tickets to a lot of events in the city and pass it on to students/  My colleague who is in contact with this organization is often looking for teachers to chaperone students to some of the these events.  We can often get executive suites at the ACC for shows, but they must have an adult in attedence.

Anyway, he put out an email saying that a student who had done some volunteer work in the community had gotten tickets to see The Weeknd, but needed a chaperone.  I figured that hey, if a friend had told me they had free tickets to that show, I'd say why not and go, so why not go with some kids?

Other than the student requesting tickets and her brother, I assembled some students together and we went to the show.  It was a great time.  Now, I know that The Weeknd's lyrics are not the most progressive, but I shut off my critical brain for a moment to enjoy the fact that the kids were having a great time at an even that they really wanted to be at.  I don't think most of them would have ever been able to afford the show, so it was a great thing to be able to do my part to make it happen.

***

It's still only November, but I can feel the year waning.  I'm still trying to kick this plague from Halloween, and I'm convinced that it's been holding on to me tightly because I haven't been taking very good care of myself this year.

I've not been making enough time or effort to eat properly and exercise.  I use the business of work as an excuse, and the fact that I've been teaching the senior level biology courses that require more preparation from me as an excuse.

I need to get the fuck out of this slump.  I feel like crap.  I have low energy, and I'm just not feeling like myself.  I don't get as excited for things as I used to.

I made the mistake of not traveling enough this summer.  My rationale is that I would save money and use the extra time to take better care of myself.  However, I spent more time watching TV than anything, which really isn't me.

I find myself sneaking out of making social plans to stay at home.  I use excuses like marking, cleaning, etc. but I tend to spend more time procrastinating than anything else.

I'm becoming my own enemy and I hate it.  I'm in a slump, and I'm doing it the way I do most things, with 100% effort.  I'm slumping big time.

I need to get through this week.  Report cards are due on Thursday.  After that deadline, I need to prioritize getting the fuck out of this slump.  I have some fun plans for next weekend: a concert and brunch with friends out of town.  This is good because I won't worm my way out of those things.

I will keep you updated on Operation Unslump.  It's on after report cards. I'm not waiting until 2016 to start pulling myself out of this mire.

Okay, vent over. 

***

Also, now that baseball is completely over, I am sadly realizing that it was my ultimate escape from reality.  I could slump away, but it didn't really feel like a slump because I always had games to look forward to.  It forced me to get out and socialize.

I guess my resolution for next baseball season is to go hard, but not to use it so much as an escape from real life.  Like 50% less escapism.

Halloween Plague

Something's been going around my school.  It's been hitting other colleagues hard, but I think I was lucky enough to only get a mild version of it.

I felt awful on Friday, and if nothing had been going on, I would have called in sick but because of some school events and a test I had planned, I wanted to be there.  I didn't have the energy to dress up on Friday.  I put on a tshirt with skulls on it and called it a day.

I think I've slept off the plague this weekend.  I managed to go out to see a movie last night but that was the extent of my celebrations.

And now that I'm feeling better it's time for more work. :/

What a season.

Sadly, the Jays' division-winning 2015 season came to an end in Kansas City on Friday.

I ended up watching the game at the house of friends that I hadn't seen in awhile.  Even though the outcome wasn't what we wanted, it was still fun to cheer for Jose Bautista's two home runs, and somehow hope that we'd be able to push a game seven.

During the game, I spent time texting baseball friends from near and far.  I think the best part of a winning baseball season is that it brings people together.  I really loved how the city of Toronto came together during the playoff run.  From the "Go Jays Go" signs at the front of TTC buses, to random conversations from fellow fans in grocery stores and elevators, it's been very fun.

I really loved this Blue Jays team.  I love that Joey Bats is a leader who is outspoken, who will flip his bat and speak out in support of his teammates and against injustice.  I love Josh Donaldson's (MVP! MVP!) intensity.  Who could have imagined that Marcus Stroman would be back to pitch for the playoffs after his supposedly season-ending injury.  And who could not love 20-year old Osuna's rise from poverty to being the youngest closer in baseball (and one with nerves of steel)?

I had to have a good cry when I got home on Friday, and I know that I wasn't the only one.  After a season so big, and so exciting, I just had to release it all.  I went to 18 home games, 1 away game, 5 playoff games, and probably watched the majority of the rest on TV.  I invested a lot of time, but I'm glad I did.  I saw a lot of great baseball.

I'm looking forward to 2016.  The core team will stay in place, and I'm sure we can fill in those gaps and hopefully hold onto Estrada and Price.  It'll be fun hearing about any roster moves, and choosing this year's 15 games on our flex pack.  And I can't wait to find out who will be the 2016 bobbleheads!  (My money is on Donaldson, Tulo, and Price if he sticks around.  Although I'd really love a Kevin Pillar bobblehead.)

Until then, I've got the World Series and all I have to say about that is Go Mets Go!  It's s tie game right now.  Those damned Royals are relentless.

Hooked on a feeling.

ALCS update: Jays two games in KC.  Jays play on Monday, I'm there, they win.

I was quite sure that going to three playoff games during the week (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) while meeting the demands of work could possibly drive me to to exhaustion.  My friend Vern really wanted to go to an ALCS game, so I decided that I would sell her my Tuesday ticket, and just watch the game from the comfort of my couch.

I actually was really happy to avoid the crowds, and watch a game on TV.  I mean, it's super fun going in person and I love the energy and being there, but I guess going to ALL of the playoff games is a little much for me.  My best baseball buddy Mathew mocked me for being weak and not going to ALL of the games like he has, but I was pretty happy with my choice.

The game I missed was a complete disaster.  14 - 2 for KC.  It's kind of bittersweet that I sold the ticket for that game; I felt kind of awful sending my friend Vern to such a fiasco, but really happy that I missed it. 

After watching that game on TV, I really hoped that the Blue Jays could take just one more game at home.  After experiencing home game losses during the ALDS, I didn't want to walk out of the final game of the 2015 post season all sad with 50 000 other despondent fans.  I felt that KC was outplaying the Jays, and I just wanted one last win at home and that would be the season.

I got my wish on Wednesday!  The Jays won 7-1!  However, their performance was so strong, and so convincing that I forgot all about my "just one more home win" wish and now I'm craving the World Series here in Toronto.  The fun thing about going to so many playoff games is that more or less the same people sit around us, and we're getting to recognize each other.  We said goodnight by saying "see you at the World Series!" and now I really want that bad.

If Wednesday's team shows up in KC for games 6 and 7, I think it will happen.  They were great.  To quote Drake (who is used constantly as Jays walk-on music), the 2015 Blue Jays have got a "World Series" attitude.  I think they can get there.

Comeback Kids

I'm super excited that I'm going to be one of those annoying old people who says "I was at game 5 of the ALDS and witnessed the epic 53-minute seventh inning of craziness with Joey Bats' epic bat flip." Except I didn't really see the bat flip since I was high-fiving everyone around me.

They did it though!  My beloved blue birds came back and won three do-or-die games to win the ALDS and move on to the next round of the playoffs.

And now we're in a similar situation to where we were a week ago: Jays lost the first two games of the series.  However, the ALCS is a best-of-seven so it's not do-or-die quite yet, but we need a win.

Starting tmrw, the next three games will be a home.  I've got tickets for all but I'm sitting out Tuesday's game because I think three games in a row will be tough to balance with work.  I'm selling that one to my friend Vern and gonna watch it at home.

I think this team likes to comeback, has been doing it all season, and I hope they do it again.

Long time, no blog.

Thank goodness for long weekends, is all I have to say. The first month of school has whirled by, and I'm thankful for an extra day of rest. Right now I'm on the train headed to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. I'm happy to deliver them a bag of random gifts (souvenirs from baseball games, books, and a flavour of chips that I'm confident that my dad will adore). I'm writing this on my phone, so forgive me any typos/errors/mistakes.

I love trains. Being on a train brings me happy memories of taking this very train about a million times, taking trains in Europe, taking the train through the Canadian Rockies, and weekend trips to Montreal.

I've been thinking a lot about Europe. I have some money saved up; I really want to use it to go to Europe over the March Break. I would like to spend a weekend in Paris, because Paris is always a good idea, and then take the train to Amsterdam because I've never been.

Last weekend was oh-so-fun.  My friends Matt and Melly were in town from Winnipeg.  On Saturday night, we did Nuit Blanche.  Nuit Blanche is a night of magic, annoyance, drunk girls falling down on the street in front of you, and exhaustion. There are times when I get grumpy, but at the end I'm always really glad I did it.  We smartly took a two-hour break at a pub, which provided lots of amusement too. I ended up getting home at 4 a.m. which made me super proud of myself. I'm in my mid-thirties but I can still do late nights.

Although the next day, I skipped out on brunch because I knew that I needed to rest up for the CHVRCHES concert on Sunday night, and get some school work done. (And watch the last regular season Jays' game which was a debacle.)

The show was great, and then I suggested going to a pub on the Danforth near the venue for a last celebratory drink since I don't see my Winnipeg friends too often.  I took them to The Old Nick, which I'd been to before and was okay.  We ended up falling in love with the place, the music they played (a lot of old 54-40) and I ended up staying out way too late on a school night and had too much beer.  I took a cab home and had problems explaining left and right; luckily the driver was super nice.

But, I was totally fine the next day to drag myself in early for school! Period 1 was rough, but the rest of the day was good and I felt very productive! More late night drinks on school nights perhaps?

And then there was post season baseball.

MLB set the Jays' games at ridiculous times in the afternoon for the ALDS. Luckily, I have fourth period off, so I snuck out early on Thursday (after making arrangements w my VP, who's cool).  The atmosphere was amazing.  Seeing the "2015 AL East Champions" banner unfurled almost brought me to tears. The game, however, was a disappointment.

And then there was the result of Friday's fourteen-inning marathon. Oh man. Now my beloved team is in a do-or-die must-win-three-in-a-row situation.

No matter what happens, it's been an amazing season, and I love this baseball team.

Post season!

Well it's official!  My beloved Blue Jays have clinched a postseason berth for the first time in 22 years.   The news was announced on Saturday morning to little fanfare because of a mathematical oversight... Turns out the LA Angels didn't have to lose on Friday night after all.  The team celebrated after the game though, and the footage warmed my heart.

Today, I went to the final home game of the regular season and it was an exciting end to a great season of home games.  The Jays rallied from behind, and we were treated to a walk off home run by MVP candidate Josh Donaldson.  

It was really nice that after the win, ppl didn't rush out of the stadium to beat traffic but stayed to celebrate with the team.  When we finally left, ppl were chanting "Go Jays Go" and "MVP" as we went down the ramp from the 500s.

There are still seven more roads games, but I am so pumped for the Blue Jays to clinch the AL east, finally add a new banner in the Dome, and play in the postseason. 

Nothing quite exhausts me like a field trip for school. Especially when it involves a whole day in the sun.  I should have out sunblock on; my nose is a bit red.

Other than the last home game of the regular baseball season, I don't have much planned this weekend and I should keep it that way.  I have visitors coming next week and anti-Stephen Harper events, all night street art crawls, and concerts coming up so I need to rest, clean, and get ahead of the school work game.

Time.

I need more time.  I am struggling with balancing the following:

• Baseball (went to the Jays' game today; watching Yankees @ Mets while doing schoolwork; caught all games this weekend) A+
• Socializing (went for a walk in High Park w a friend after school on Thursday, organized a work-friend social on Friday, hung out w friend on Saturday, Jays' game = social) A+
• Lesson planning (I struggle but it's always done) A+
• Extracurricular activities (All under control) A+
• Self care (got hair and nails done on Sat; made dentist app't; need to get a massage) A-
• Marking (I marked 1.5 sets out of four this weekend; old me would have done zero) B-
• Rilo care (she got mad at me today because I was planning lessons instead of paying attention to her after being gone all day; other than that no real complaints from her) B-
• Cleaning (place is messy, but not at its worst) C-
• Sleeping (I get enough on weekends; but not during week) C-
• Blogging (I am down to one post a week and maybe check in on other blogs once per week) C-
• Eating (made lunch 4/5 days last week; ate dinner at home mostly but ate out too much on weekend) D
• Exercise (made my FitBit goal 6/7 days this week; did not go to gym) D
• Reading (haven't read a book since school started) D-

I really do feel that I could raise my grades in the activities where I have C-s or Ds if I had more hours in the day. I do combine baseball with planning and marking, and I think I could combine baseball with more things but sometimes it's nice to have time to zone out, you know??

Also, I do NOT understand how ppl with kids juggle everything. I have troubles taking care of myself and one small cat.

Seems what's been good for the music hasn't always been so good for the life.

This has been my song of the week.  I can relate to the line that I borrowed for the title of this post.  For me, I would substitute the word "music" for "school" and that would describe my constant struggle for work/life balance.

However, I did say "NO" to something last week which should help.  My friend wanted me to help her with the ultimate frisbee team.  This would have been something I could have easily done a couple of years ago, but this semester I am teaching an enriched grade 12 biology class which requires a lot of prep so I said no and she understood.

(Part of me is sad because helping her probably would have been lots of fun; but an over-booked/over-stressed me is not fun.)

I had a fun first-earned weekend.  (I haven't earned a weekend in months.)  On Friday night, I went with my pal Mathew to see Sloan at Massey Hall.  I was super excited for the show because I managed to score front row tickets!

We arranged to have dinner at a nearby gastro-pub that we knew would be showing the ballgame.  David Price pitching game one against the Yankees in the Bronx is a big deal.  Luckily, the Jays scored big and early, so the outcome of the game was pretty much foregone by the time we left.

The show was great!  There were technical difficulties at the beginning that meant the band couldn't start right away so the crowd started an impromptu sing-along of "O Canada" followed by a sing-along of my favourite Sloan song of all time, "Deeper Than Beauty".  It was fun.



The rest of the weekend was devoted to baseball.  Yesterday the Jays had a double-header against the Yankees to make up for Thursday's postponed game and I watched all nine hours of the insanity.  It was chilly and rainy out so a perfect day to put on my new fuzzy fall hoodie, light a pumpkin pie candle and watch 9 hours of exciting baseball.  The Jays won both games, but not without some extra innings in game 1, and with two players getting injured.  It was nuts.

Today's game was less exciting.  The Jays lost, but since they took 3/4 of the series against their rivals, I wasn't too concerned.

The rest of my Sunday was spent lesson-planning and running errands.  Sigh, this working life!

Back to school.

The first few lines of St. Vincent's sing Regret sums up how I felt on Tuesday.

"Morning pry the windows open

Let in what's so terrifying

Summer is as faded as a lone cicada call

Memories so bright I gotta squint just to recall"

It's been a slow ease into the school year.  We had a PD Day last Thursday which was dull but got me into the building.  Normally I would stay and do a bit of prep since I was there, but the building was so bloody hot there was no way.  I had a little but of intent to go in and do my prep on Friday, but there was opportunity to go for brunch and walk along the beach, and that pull was just too strong.

Luckily, Tuesday was the first day with the kids, but the classes were only twenty minute orientations.  Basically I try to learn all the names, chit chat about summer, and tell them how much nerdy fun the semester will be.  Because of my Friday beach day, I ended up staying really late on Tuesday prepping for today's classes.

My classes seem really great so far.  I have an enriched grade 12 biology class that is going to keep me on my toes with preparation.  Luckily, the students are such extremely lovely people that I won't resent the extra work and intensity of the course.

Two more days until my first earned weekend in a long time!!

MLB.TV

I love a sale. This statement is reflected in the fact I spent a bit of cash the other day at Anthropologie because they are giving teachers a 15% back-to-school discount.  I have to support a store that likes teachers and has awesome fall sweaters, right?

When my friend Mathew scooped me that MLB.TV was on sale for the rest of the season for only $9.99, I decided why not? Thank goodness I got it when I did too, because they've upped it to $24.99.

Since I've gotten it, I've had the fun of tuning in to Cardinals games.  I can also rewatch highlights of Jays games from the opposing team's feed which is fun.  I also tuned into the last two innings of the Cubs v Dodgers last night for Arrieta's no-hitter.  Lastly, I got to bite my nails tonight as I watched Boston help out the Jays by beating the Yankees.

Do I really have go back to school?  Can't I just keep obsessing over baseball?  Or at least can I teach a baseball appreciation course?

Upgrading and cooking.

On Saturday I went with my friend Elisa to see Blue Rodeo at the Molson Ampitheatre.

Elisa is a former colleague/forever friend.  We became close because we co-taught a class of students at-risk.  A real line from that class that sums up the experience is "Miss, I'm too sober to be here."  (Us too, kid, us too.)  However, by the end, the two teachers and the kids formed a strange unit that we called our dysfunctional family.  Elisa and I have always referred to each other as co-parents because of this little dysfunctional family from years ago.

Apart from being co-parents, we also have similar concert-going styles.  We'll both see bands over and over again, and have a love of Canadian music from the 90s.  I don't know when it happened, but we found out that we both love Blue Rodeo, and have huge crushes on one of its lead singers, Jim Cuddy, who is pushing sixty and wearing it well, dammit.  To give you an idea of the man's fineness, watch this.



We've made it a tradition to see Blue Rodeo whenever they play Massey Hall, and have always wanted to see their annual summertime show at Molson Ampitheatre.  So far this has never happened, because one or both of us has been travelling on the date of the show.  However, this year we were both in town, and we got cheap-o lawn tickets.

The Canadian National Exhibition (CNE, aka The Ex --> a giant fair with rides, games, and the most unhealthy food you'd want to eat) is happening right now, and since you have to walk through the CNE grounds to get the Molson Ampiteahtre, and get free admission to The Ex with your concert ticket.  We took advantage of this and got there early so we could walk around and eat some of the unhealthy food.  I had the Thanksgiving Waffle from Fran's (a waffle made out of stuffing and cranberries, stuffed with turkey and gravy).  We split one of this year's most talked about offerings: deep-fried red velvet oreos (i.e. an oreo coated in red velvet batter and deep fried).

When we made it over the venue, there was a marketing campaign going on by Klipsch Audio, where they wanted you to take a picture of yourself being enthusiastic somewhere by their logo and post it on social media.  The winning picture would have their lawn seats upgraded to something closer to the stage.

We are younger than the average Blue Rodeo fan.  We heard lots of people say "Twitter? Instagram? I don't use those!" when the Klipsch explained the contest to them.  We knew that we had this contest, especially when our teacher brains listened carefully to the "enthusiastic" description and posted a slightly embarrassing photo of us jumping in the Klipsch tent.

At about 8:30 pm we got the call from Klipsch that we'd won the upgrades, and we were escorted to our new seats much closer to the stage!

Look at the view of the band!

And Jim was oh-so-close and still looking good!

It was such a fun show.  They did not skimp on the hits, and we had a blast singing along to some Canadian classics.  You know a band is Canadian when they namecheck Lake Ontario in their songs.

***

If you follow me on Instagram, you've probably noticed that I've been cooking a lot lately and maybe have thought WTF.  I am not a fan of cooking.  I have a few recipes that I've mastered that I can make when needed, but for my day-to-day life, I do not cook.  However, cooking for myself is something that I wish I could do more often, and I've come across something that helps me.

I signed up for a service that allows you to pick 2-3 recipes per week from a list, and they deliver all of the ingredients to you on Mondays.  It costs about $10 per meal, which I do not think is extravagant at all.  The recipes are definitely healthy, and use locally-sourced ingredients.  I'm on my second week of doing this and I've made lots of yummy things like turkey with red peppercorn sauce, spinach stuffed chicken, Bavarian sirloin steak, and vegetarian pad thai. 

I feel this a DIY learn-to-cook class.  I don't know how long I'll keep having ingredients delivered to me, but I'm learning tricks from these recipes like making tasty rice by adding tomato paste to the water, how to cook steak (I'd never cooked steak before), and making the best roasted sweet potatoes ever by coating them in Bavarian mustard.  

Tonight I'm having my pal Mathew over to watch the very important baseball game (let's stay in first place Blue Jays!) and to try out pistachio encrusted steak with fingerling potatoes and dino kale.  Hopefully both the meal and the baseball game are winners.

Lazy Dog Days of Summer

The end of my third-last week of summer vacation is is approaching.  It seems like a longer than average summer since we go back to school a bit later because of a trick of the calendar.

I've been spending the past week socializing, keeping up on baseball (of course), and even conducting some cooking experiments.  I also finally bought myself a new TV, and got Apple TV to go with it, so I've been enjoying watching Netflix etc on a big screen as opposed to my iPad.

That's really about it.  My brain has gotten so mushy that I don't know what else to write!

Oh I know what else to write about: the serendipity of running into friends.  Yesterday, I went to the Eaton Centre and first ran into two good friends from school, which lead to drinks, and afterwards I ran into a friend from university at the LCBO.  I always think how these events hinge on all kinds of small decisions/luck.  That is, I had to choose to go into a certain store for a specific length of time, choose a slow cashier's line with two people ahead of me, etc et. for these random meetings to happen.

Like list.

1) I really enjoyed the book I won! It was an enjoyable, non-cheesy romance. If that sounds up your alley, definitely check out Who Do You Love by Jennifer Weiner.

2) I think it was last week that I quickly made it through the show Transparent.  It treats its main character, an older trans woman, with such empathy.  Most of the main characters in the show are really messed up, but I ended up liking them anyway.  Except for the son Josh.  I read a review where they describe him as that bad boyfriend you had who quickly declares his love for you and then rips out your heart in a second. And that's precisely why he's so unlikeable.

3) I saw the movies AntMan and Trainwreck. Both were good.  Trainwreck made me surprisingly emotional because Amy's dad had MS in the movie, and so does my mom, so it was that (not the love story) that affected me.

4) I saw Jann Arden the other night at a free Panamania show.  She is hilarious but her songs are so sad.  It's quite the contrast.  I'd never seen her live before and really enjoyed it.  Her music definitely reminds me of my teenage years, but is still very relevant and relatable.

5) And what else can I say about my beloved Blue Jays who have won 11 games in a row, and have taken first place in the AL East.  They have a big three-game series against the Yankees this weekend in which they can hopefully hold onto first place and put some space between themselves and their rivals.

Goodbye Jon.

Tonight I went to the Bloor Cinema for a free screening of the final episode of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.  I figure that's the best way to say goodbye to your favourite television host: big screen, six hundred other people, and complimentary buttons!

Unsurprisingly, the final show was pitch perfect.  The first segment included an impressive array of Daily Show correspondents: Samantha Bee, Ed Helms, Steve Carrell, Lewis Black, Larry Wilmore, Kristen Schaal, John Oliver, and I could go on and on.  The array ended with a dramatic entrance and heartwarming thank you from Stephen Colbert.  The six hundred or so of us in the theatre were clapping and laughing though the entire segment.

After that, there was a nice bit where Jon toured through the Daily Show offices, saying hi to each and every employee.  He then returned for a "join me at camera three" bit where he warned us to be vigilant for bullshit.  Lastly, after thanking his family, crew, and audience, his moment of zen was Bruce Springsteen playing out the show.

I am not sure when I actually began watching the Daily Show.  I've definitely been watching it for a solid decade.  It's been my late night show of choice, although I usually watch it online the day after now as opposed to staying up late.  I'll really miss Jon Stewart's brand of insightful, smart, critical, and often angry comedy.  I've always felt that he was the media's biggest critic, and he was the only one out there calling out bias, hyperbole, lies, and bullshit.  I'll miss him.

I'm glad I went to the cinema for the finale.  It was more of an event than if I watched it at home on my couch, so I can always remember it fondly.  Plus, I got a commorative button, ha-ha.

I always find it weird when you feel the need to express gratitude when a pop culture type thing ends, but I think that comedy is art, and comedians are artists and art is important and personal.  And that's why the audience needs a moment to say goodbye to artists.

Best Day.

You know those days where all of the stars align and a bunch of good things happen? Today was one of those days.

First, I got to the Rogers Centre at 10:30 am for Russell Martin (aka my sports boyfriend) bobblehead day. The lines were SUPER long; even longer than they'd been for Jose Bautista bobblehead day.  I felt a bit of stress that I wouldn't get one, but woo-hoo, I did!

Then, through some pre-game random texting (I had time to kill), I found out that not only are my friends Matt and Melly from Winnipeg coming down for the CHVRCHES concert in October, but also for Nuit Blanche.  I'm super excited because I haven't see Melly since 2012!

Then, our new adorable ace pitcher, David Price, threw a beautiful game with 11 strikeouts.  There was a moment where he got out of a bases-loaded, zero-outs situation and I almost passed out from the stress.  See the old Blue Jays would have fallen apart at that moment, but not the new Blue Jays.  Loved it.  We are now tied with the Minnesota Twins for a playoff spot.  There is still two months to go, but I am optimistic and confident in this team.

Finally, I got home and entered a Twitter contest being held by one of my favourite authors, Jennifer Weiner.  And guess what?  I won!  She's going to send me an autographed copy of her new novel Who Do You Love.  Woo hoo!

Pretty great day!

I am super excited about baseball.

Now that I'm back from my trip, baseball has gotten its hooks into me.

I just got home from a very nice game.  The Jays beat the Royals (best team in the AL) 5-2.  There was good pitching, and three home runs including one from my sports boyfriend Russell Martin.

Even more excited have been the trades in advance of tomorrow's trade deadline.  The Jays made some deals this season (as opposed to last) and got themselves perhaps the best shortstop in baseball, a reliever, and an ace of a starting pitcher.  There is so much excitement around these trades.  Playoffs, here we come, I hope, I hope.

Other than being excited about that, I've been laying low.  I binge-watched a new show called UnREAL that I really liked.  It's based on a fictional reality-dating show called "Everlasting" and shows all of the manipulation and drama that goes on behind the scenes. It's completely soap-opera-ish and super fun.

Now, I have to find something else to watch... Until there is more baseball.

#wwmcd

WHAT WOULD MARIAH CAREY DO?

That was the theme of my Vegas Vacation.  I was living it even before I realized it.

One afternoon, I had some time on my own, so I explored the strip.  I wandered to the Bellagio hotel to watch the fountains, and realized that I was getting a bit hot and thirsty, so I did the logical thing: I found a patio bar and ordered a margarita (and some water).

After wandering in the desert heat, a margarita will hit me hard which is AWESOME because I can make some awesome decisions after one margarita in the heat.  EYELINER is what went through my brain.  It is time for me to start wearing eyeliner.

I went to the neighbouring Sephora, got some advice from the consultants (i.e. I'm not skilled enough for liquid liners) and walked out with glittery black liner and somehow, the perfect red lipstick that I'd been looking for.  I've wanted to wear red lipstick, because so many people look awesome in it and says it makes them feel amazing, but I've never found a shade that makes me look anything other than a clown.  This one though (Makeup Forever in Rouge Artist Intense) is my shade.

And, the purchase of glittery black eyeliner was completely unintentional.  I though I was buying matte black, but I like the glitter so I thank the margarita for the error.

(And clearly, red lipstick and glittery black eyeliner is what MC would do so I was ahead of the game.)

I also decided to go on the roller coaster at the New York New York casino, which as anyone who has seen the Fantasy video would know, is what MC would do.  I haven't been on a roller coaster since I was 18, and in really didn't worry too much about it until the thing was going up a steep incline which I knew would drop off and then I wanted to get off... I just closed my eyes and swore the whole way and exited completely dizzy and glad I did it.

That brings us more to the MC show which was AMAZING.  I liked MC a lot as a kid and listened to the heck out of her first two albums on cassette tape.  When I was in high school, I was too cool for her but secretly still liked her and did not turn away when her videos came on MuchMusic.  As such, I knew most of the words to her 18 #1 hits that she performed, and knew the corresponding music videos to which her sets were based on.  It was amazing!

By the end of the last night, as I was figuring out to wear, I asked myself what would MC do, so I decided jean short and heels it was.  I had a nice final evening of drinks and dinner with my pal Claire and her husband.

There were lots more super fun moments in Las Vegas too, but that's all I'm going to write about for now. If you want to see pictures, they're all up on my Instagram.  :)

And now I'm back home with Ms. Rilo who missed me.

Coffee at the airport bar.

I always get to airports too early.  This morning I'm off to Las Vegas (first time ever) for adventures with my friend Claire, who flew there with her husband en route to Hawaii.

Anyhow, to save money, I took the TTC out to the airport, and because I like to avoid rush hour and leave nothing to chance, I got here pretty early.  Also, who knew what kind of havoc the Pan Am games would wreak upon the airport.  The answer, is not much.  Apart from having to dodge a large group of people wearing Mexican track suits, it's pretty quiet here.  The check-in, customs, and security lines were all swift, and I was at my gate in about twenty minutes.

Extra airport time is always fun if you're in the shopping Mecca that is Heathrow, or even Terminal 1 here in Toronto.  However, I'm sadly sequestered in the US departure section of Terminal 3.  I was craving the idea of a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich, however, a pane of glass separates me from that as it is (unsurprisingly) located in the Cdn departures section.

Instead, I found one of those ubiquitous airport restaurants/bars, where I just finished a surprisingly good wrap and I'm drinking coffee and staring at a lot of booze at the bar ahead of me.  Thanks for free wifi, I can use this time to catch up on blogging, emails, and the like.

I've had a fun past few days.  On Tuesday and Wednesday of last week I took in some free Panamania  concerts at Nathan Phillips Square (my beloved and often seen Joel Plaskett Emergency, and my Canadain guilty pleasure pop punk Marianas Trench).  I love the spirit the games are bringing to the city and I'm kind of sad that I'll be missing out on Stars and LIGHTS next week.  (But I've seen them both before and Vegas awaits.)  There will still be more free shows into August for the ParaPanAm games, so no loss.

Also, I am cool with Kanye playing the closing ceremonies.  Torontonians are annoying complainers. (Although I would have been happier if they chose Drake!)

I also got my hair cut and my nails done for my trip.  Then I did a decent cleaning job of my place and cooked dinner for a friend on Friday night which I haven't done in FOREVER.  My stove was like WTF, I'm sure.

I went shopping at Vaughn Mills with my pal Vern on Saturday, and then on Sunday went to the Jays game where they played like they always should.  In the evening, as I was doing laundry, I streamed the gold medal baseball match between Canada and the USA.  It was one of the most exciting and wildest baseball games I've seen.  Fun!

Well, I apologize if this post is full of errors because I don't feel like proofreading.  I think I'm going to splurge on a magazine, and go read that until my flight.

Everything Must Go!

I can distinctly remember when I started listening to The Weakerthans.  In the year 2000, I was in university, and used Naspter (!) to download songs via my slow UTORdial internet connection.  I would read about bands in Chart magazine (of which I received a printed copy in the mail), and if they sounded interesting from an article, I'd download a song or two and based upon my small sample size, I'd buy the album.

My decision to sample some Weakerthans' songs was based upon their name; I thought it was cool.  In retrospect, I can say that as someone who has tended toward self-reflective introversion all of my life, I've always been attracted to art that explores the concept of weakness, hence I would obviously be attracted to a band that has the word "weaker" in its name.  Even better, I soon discovered that many of their songs explored a theme of home, and maybe feeling slightly alienated from your home, and I dug that.

I bought their album Left & Leaving on my 21st birthday.  My birthday used to always fall on reading week when I was in university, so I went home to Stratford for the break.  It was not a fun birthday.  I was recovering from a truly awful case of strep throat, so no parties were had, and I could barely eat food (not for lack of hunger, but for extremely sore throat).  All I remember was that by the time the day rolled around, I felt good enough to hop in my parents' car, drive to the CD store and buy the album and then spend the rest of reading week listening to it in my discman well I shook off the rest of my illness.

I think the Weakerthans became my absolutely favourite band once I saw them live.  I saw them that summer in a now-closed punk rock club called The Reverb on Queen St.  I went with my friend Eric, who hadn't heard of them, but was game for a random night out.  By that time, they were trying out some new songs that would end up on their album Reconstruction Site.  Eric ended up loving them because of a lyric "I've had a really nice time; but my dogs need to fed" which he interpreted as the singer having dinner with a beautiful woman and leaving because his dogs were more important.  Anyone who values animals over such trivial matters has a place in my friend Eric's heart.  (I think the song is actually about an Antarctic explorer having hallucinations, but I've never told Eric that because he remembers the lyric and the concert fondly to this day.)

I saw The Weakerthans a lot in years 2001-2003 in small rock venues all over the city.  They played a lot of songs from Reconstruction Site during that time frame.  When that album came out, the songs felt like familiar old friends, and it remains one of my favourite albums of all time.

I have lots of other great memories entwined with this band.  There was the time when they were playing in Hamilton and Becca T and I took the GO bus to see them, but had to stay overnight in a Tim Hortons because the last back to the city was at 11 pm, just as the band would be hitting the stage.  The first bus back to the city was Sunday at 5 am, and we were university students who would not want to splurge on a hotel overnight, so an all-night Timmy's it was.

Years later, they played that same venue in Hamilton, and since we were both gainfully employed, we were going to rent a car to go to the show, but then at the last minute Becca couldn't go.  However, my colleague (now lifelong friend) Nancy was good to drive to the show.  She had a great time at the show, and commented that she'd never seen me quite so happy as I was at a Weakerthans' show.

If you've actually made it this far in this post, I congratulate you.  It's mainly a stream of consciousness of memories of my favourite band spurred on by the fact that it was outed today on Twitter that the band is no more.  The guitarist had made comment to CBC Music, and then the drummer also confirmed it in a tweet.  It's really no surprise; they haven't had an album since 2007, and haven't played in forever.  I missed them the last time they played Toronto.  It was part of RiotFest, and I'd just returned from Kenya and didn't feel like sending $75 to see they play for 45 minutes while I was jetl-agged.  Next time, I thought!  Silly me.

I'm pretty sure the last (and I guess final) time I saw The Weakerthans play as a proper band was in 2010 at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre down at the Ex with a boyfriend-at-the-time who wasn't really into them, but kind enough to go with me.  The Queen E Theatre isn't huge, but a far cry from the little punk bar where I first saw them.  I don't remember specifics about the show, but I'm sure they played all my favourites and I smiled my super-happy-I'm-at-a-Weakerthans'-show smile.

Musicians probably never get to know how much their music means to their fans.  It's kind of crazy that songs get written, released, and played at shows.  However, it's kind of crazy that these songs written by complete strangers become the soundtrack to my life, and when I listen to them, they bring back so many memories and take on meaning to my own life that might not even be connected to their lyrics.  

When I remember shows, I do sometimes remember the music, but I usually remember who I went with, what was going on in my life at the time, how much fun we had at show, and events surrounding the show (Becca T and I almost freezing to death in Hamilton before finding that Tim Horton's; Nancy smelling like horse at the show because she had horse lessons before we went).

I had always hoped to see The Weakerthans live in their hometown of Winnipeg.  And I was doing so well at reaching that dream!  Thanks to this blog, I have a couple of good friends who live in Winnipeg, so I have a choice of couches to sleep on and people to see the show with.  I've just been waiting for that show to happen so I can fly out for it.  Sigh, I guess it won't happen.

Although, the title of their last album is Reunion Tour, so perhaps there is hope for my Winnipeg-Weakerthans trip yet.  Also, their buddies The Constantines have been riding the reunion thing for the past year.  (Ah, Weakerthans/Cons shows, so many good memories!)

But for the time being, I'll miss my favourite band.

Changes

I decided to visit my parents for a "weekend" out of the city.  I put the word weekend in quotes because days of the week don't have much meaning to me in the summer. My weekend in Stratford is Saturday night to Monday night.

Today I went out for lunch with my friend Heather.   Many times we've met up in downtown Stratford, had a nice meal, and wandered the shops. After lunch we bee-lined to our favourite Stratford bookstore: The Book Vault. Of course, we got distracted along the way and ended up at the coffee shop.  Did we miss it somehow? We turned around and spent a good five minutes being utterly confused until we realized that the accounting firm next door had expanded into our beloved bookshop, which was gone forever.

We crossed the street to the other bookstore, but it wasn't the same. Our favourite bookstore had mad deals.

As we continued shopping around, I couldn't help but notice about the changes that have happened. Yes, a lot of my fave stores that I've been shopping at since I was a kid are still there, but I couldn't help but notice that my favourite stationery, shoe and clothing stores are gone. One of my favourite restaurants has been standing empty for quite some time, as are the spaces above and below that housed the sketchy nightclubs we frequented in our late teens/early twenties.  The biggest inn in town is now a Best Western, and the coffee shop across the street where we used to recount those sketchy nightclub nights, sits deserted. At least the Dairy Queen is still in business.

As we were ending our shopping, a lady stopped us and asked if we were from here, and I responded yes. She asked us where the Royal Bank was, and it took me a little longer than I'd like to remember. I realize that after all this time living in Toronto, I'm no longer the hometown expert that I used to be. There are lots of restaurants that I've never tried, and my favourite places are disappearing.

However, my heart was warmed to see that my childhood toystore still sells gimp by the metre and stickers by the square so some things are still constant.

Road trips and hangouts.

Made it back from my baseball road trip to Detroit.

We crossed the border and then went to the Eastern Market for some yummy pizza.  Then we headed to the hipster area for coffee and to see the abandoned train station. I really liked the train station.  Detroit is rather interesting because there is so much that is empty but it used to be very populous, and now it's less so.  It would be cool to have a time machine and go back to experience it in its heyday in the 1950s/1960s.

Speaking of that time frame, we tried to go to the Motown museum but it was sold out for the day.  Instead, we checked into our hotel and then headed downtown. There was a Tiffany clock in a building that my friend Vic wanted to see and it was an inside joke made funnier by the fact we saw it.

The game was really fun.  American ballparks have all the flash.  The game was dismal for the first seven innings; the Jays couldn't get a hit and the score was 8-0.  But, in the top of the eighth, the tides turned and the Jays scored six runs, much to the dismay of the Tigers' fans and the joys of the many Jays' fans who made the trip.  Unfortunately, they weren't able to get more in the ninth, but at least they made a comeback. After the game we were treated to some pretty nice 4th of July fireworks.

On Saturday, we mainly did some shopping.  I was very well behaved and only spent money at Trader Joe's.

Mathew made a nice collage of the trip.  You may wonder why there are scuba divers in the picture but that's because we listened to an episode of Dateline about mystery in the deep blue sea, I kid you not.

Since I've been back in TO, my house guest (Becca T) had to leave and then I had a chill two days of not much.  However, today one of my long-time blog pals was in town and we had brunch.  Tonight is dinner/movie with work pals.  Then tmrw is spa day.  Not too shabby.

Summer finances.

I feel that summer is expensive no matter if I stay home or travel lots.

Traveling is inherently costly: airfare, train fare, hotels, meals, attractions, and of course a little bit (or a lot) of shopping.

However, I question if I spend just as much when I stick around town.  Movies, coffees, concerts, lunches, drinks, and shopping all adds up.  I have to fill my time!

Becca T has been visiting, and today we met up w my friend Flora and did some shopping.  I told Becca to not let me buy anything, but she failed and I ended up with a new skirt and top from Anthropologie, a new tote, and new PJs.

Yesterday, I needed to go to Ikea, so I got a Zipcar for the trip and dropped money on a much-needed duvet cover (my old one ripped and could have quite possibly strangle me in my sleep), new pillows, a new mirror, and other assorted items.

On Sunday, I spent almost as much on a hot dog at the Jays' game, dinner at Marché, and then the spectacle that was the Nelly/TLC/NKOTB concert.

The point of this is maybe it would cost as much to summer abroad!

Best.

I have lots to blog about but I'm sleepy from a fun weekend.

The best part is that I do not have work tomorrow.

More later.

Hey look up!

I've decided my summer song is "Third Eye" by Florence + The Machine.  I can't find a decent version of it to link to, but, really just get her new album. It's great.

Weekends without the dagger of schoolwork to do dangling over my head are amazing.  Seriously, after ten months of never really feeling like I can relax, I can, and it's amazing.  I finished off OITNB season 3, chaperoned prom, watched lots of baseball, went to the movies to see Mad Max: Fury Road, and built a Mini Cooper out of Lego (because, I rock adulthood).

I super enjoyed Mad Max which is surprising because I don't typically like exciting movies.  It is all it's cracked up to be and I wish Imperator Furiosa was my spirit animal.

I've started to listen to my fave Mariah Carey songs in preparation for Las Vegas.  It's dangerous becuase, well, romanticism and all that.  I do better listening to stuff about misery like Los Campesinos!

Confession: I like Drake.  They played so much Drake at prom.

I find it hilarious that I'm 35 and go to prom and use it to update my playlists.

Did you know that Judy Blume wrote a new adult novel?  It was $15 at Indigo so I bought it and I'm going to read that.  I haven't finished a book in a long time.

Summer of Self Care

Well, I've made it through the tough slog that is the end of the school year.  Writing exams, photocopying the exams and assembling them into packages; getting through the last quizzes, tests, labs and projects; marking these last items and those other things that I've been avoiding for awhile; and wrapping up extracurricular activities.

Now all exams have been written by students, marked by me, marks have been entered and report cards are done.  I'm sitting in a hallway by the window doing my last official duty of the school year: monitoring the third floor during exams (so far so good).

Next week will be a flurry of cleaning up, meetings, parties, etc.  I'll be able to sleep in some days and the pace will not be hectic.

Before I know it, it'll be two months of freedom.  And I know what I need to do with it: take care of myself.

This year I let my worst habits get ahold of me.  I let work take over, and I let my exercise habits and food habits slide.  I ate junk food, drank too much to unwind, and stopped bringing my gym stuff to school, promising myself that I'd go home, and then go to the gym.  That would never happen because I would stay at work too late and then use that as an excuse.

I know that during the summer I need to make myself a schedule.  I want to wake up early, and get a good workout done in the morning.  I would like to give myself one household chore to each day (declutter a box, clean out a shelf, etc.), and then after that read, watch Netflix, be crafty, go to a different neighbourhood etc, cook something healthy, whatever.

I have a couple of small trips planned and I think that's all I want.  After years of big summer trips every year, I just want to chill.  I have a baseball road trip to Detroit, five days in Vegas and that's it. I want to take a couple of small road trips to visit friends and family but I want to be a homebody for two months.

I want to get back to running.

I want to eat lots of fruits and veggies, but also try a milkshake at this burger place that my friend's been raving about.

I want to go out less.  Is that crazy?

I want to do away with things that aren't working for me.

I just want to take better care of myself.

Winding Down

Right now I have absolutely nothing to mark.  It's a small preview of summer vacation for me before the official end of the school year.  My lovely period 1 class is writing their exam, and I have nothing really to do that wouldn't require me to leave the room or to make a lot of noise.  (Although I am feeling bad right now that I have a creaky chair and a couple of kids have creaky stools... I hate noise when I'm trying to think.  Sign of old age, perhaps?)

I got the rest of the term marking done over the weekend/this morning and I have all of my marks inputted plus report card comments in.  I am feeling, dare I say it, on top of things which felt like an impossibility a few weeks ago.  It goes to show you that the motto that Becca T and I coined back in our university days still rings true - "somehow it will all get done; it always does."

But these guys will get done in an hour, but I'll probably just mark their exams tomorrow while my period 2 class is writing their exam.

(I'm lucky.  I can arrange my room where kids are really far away from each other so cheating is impossible unless they have super duper vision.  Hence I can do stuff while they write.)

In other news, I'm super happy with baseball these days.  This 11-game win streak for the Jays is amazing.  Now, I am well aware they will eventually lose at some point; but I'm hoping they can get one more win in tonight to surpass the franchise record for a win streak.  I might even forgo my weekly hate-watching of The Bachelorette to watch the game tonight. (I can stream the crappy show online tomorrow, right?) Oh, and my pal Mathew and I have splurged on 100-level seats for Wednesday's game.  Last year, when the Jays were streaking, we vowed to splurge on good seats for a game, but then they started sucking so we didn't.  We've learned that you must take advantage of the moment before it's gone!  (But let's hope this level of baseball continues for the rest of the season, and dare I say it, into the playoffs.)

I've also been watching season 3 of Orange is The New Black.  I don't think this season will have the epic force of season 2, since the main villain got smooshed, but it's still very enjoyable.  I think my favourite part of the show is the backstories of all of the characteristics.  I just finished the episode that tells the story of Chang, the strange elderly Chinese woman that runs the commissary, and it was rather interesting.

And I'll be able to start reading again soon!  I can't remember the last book I finished; it must have been a month ago.

I love when the breakneck pace of the school year finally winds down.

Almost there.

I was going to write a post about an actual topic.  It's the twentieth anniversary of Alanis Morrissette's  Jagged Little Pill album and I can't believe I'm that old.  That album was important to me.

However, Netflix just released season 3 of Orange Is The New Black so I'm going to watch that.  Post will have to wait.

Tomorrow is my last day of teaching for the school year.  Next week is exams.

I have four sets of marking to do over the weekend.  That's manageable!  And no prep!  The stress levels are finally decreasing!

Likes and dislikes.

Likes:

1) Exciting baseball games like today's.

2) Sunshine and cool temperatures.

3) Naps.

4) These paleo brownie bites that I made.

5) Bobbleheads.  I lined up early to add Marcus Stroman to my collection.

6) My sports boyfriend Russell Martin.

7) Baseball hats.

8) The new Hawksley Workman album.

Dislikes:

1) End of year marking

Hives

Yesterday morning I woke up with hives all over my face.  It was awful.  I have no idea what caused it.  I have never had this happen to me before.  I haven't been using any new products or anything.

I had mussels for dinner on Saturday.  What if I'm developing a shellfish allergy?

They've gone down quite a bit, but my face is still blotchy, and my skin feels abnormally dry.  I hope it never happens again.  I didn't even want to leave my house.

***

On Friday night I completed my set of series 2 Simpsons Lego minifigures.

I am rocking adulthood.

Sitcom

Over the years it's become more and more evident to me that I work in really what is a sitcom.  It's the high school version of The Office, but no one interviews me.  (How I wish someone would!!) Often I look around for the cameras that might be filming me so I can make a face a la Jim or Pam.

On today's episode my class was happily at work doing a lab on lenses, when one of the secretaries came over the PA and said "would whoever removed the Scantron machine from the staff room please return it?"

I started laughing out loud.  "Oh no!  That's the worst news ever!  How am I supposed to mark multiple choice? By hand?  Oh man, guys, the teachers are all going to be panicking!"

But seriously, the big mystery to me is who in their right might moved the Scantron machine.  It's big, heavy and bulky.  Who the heck has that much Scantronning to do??  If you have a test, it takes maybe two minutes to zip thirty cards through...  The only big Scantronning job that I know of are student council elections, but it's me who uses it to count the ballots. And I don't take the bloody machine with me!  And that's not even til next week!

The sad part about being a character on a sitcom is that you don't get to see what's happening outside your own scenes.  I'm sure the whole Scantron machine moving incident and its return (it was back by the end of the day) was hilarious, but I didn't get to see it.  But my people are looking into getting the whole story.

Oh young lions.

Just got back from an amazing Constantines show at Massey Hall.  It was probably the loudest rock show I'd been to in quite some time.

I got into the Cons back in my early twenties because they were often playing shows with my beloved Weakerthans.  I slowly warmed up to them, and I was a superfan by the time their last album came out in maybe around 2008.

They took a hiatus after that, but much to my happiness, they have started playing live shows again.  This was my first time seeing them in the past year.

There is something very special about seeing bands play songs you love that remind you of happy times.  That was what tonight was for me.

Confession

I skipped going to the Jays' game today to catch up on marking but I read a novel instead.

Long Weekend

Its the Monday morning of a long weekend, and I'm not sure where the weekend, or the week that preceded it, went.

The highlight of my past week was a field trip to the Ontario Science Centre with my grade 12 biology class.  I took them there to do a pretty intense 6-hour DNA fingerprinting lab.  It was a great experience because they got to do some protocol that's beyond the scope of a high school lab (PCR, gel electrophoresis) and they learned a lot.  And, they each got to see their genotype at a random locus on chromosome 1. It was a nice day.

And a great bonus was that since they are mature grade 12s, I could simply dismiss them from the OSC, and take a 20-min bus ride home as opposed to having to go back to school then home.

I spend the weekend with my parents watching crappy baseball games and relaxing.

It's crazy to think that in a month from now, exams will almost be over and it'll be almost summer.

Don't be crushed.

It was a busy weekend.

On Friday, I left school a little bit early thanks to a good friend who recognized my exhaustion and offered to supervise my regular Friday extracurricular activity.  It was much appreciated as I left the hot, sweaty, gross school building and went home to finish writing a reference letter and take a nap.

My good friend Vern (from high school days, Go9) has moved to Toronto so we had our first hang out now that she's got an apartment of her own and not living on my futon.  We braved the insanity of High Park to see the lovely cherry blossoms (although I saw lots in Vancouver in March, ha!).  Then I brought her to a cute little backyard patio for dinner and drinks.  It was a nice evening.

I could have been productive on Saturday, but instead of doing much, I sat on the couch and watched the baseball game. I didn't even mark while I watched. I struggle with these moments of complete unproductivity.  I am feeling stressed these days because I have a lot of marking, prep work, housework, errands, etc. piling up and then when I have a good chunk of time to work on them, I procrastinate and do nothing.  URGH.  I am my own worst enemy too often.

On Saturday evening, I took my friend Mathew as my +1 to the CBC for a neat little TV studio concert.  Hawksley Workman was previewing his upcoming album, Old Cheetah, on CBC's First Play Live.  I saw an invite to this on Twitter and replied on Tuesday and made it on the guest list.  The audience surrounded the band in a circle, and it was really intimate and wonderful.  He played some old stuff (even opened with Don't Be Crushed) and the new songs were wonderful.  I've been listening to Hawksley's music for fifteen years and so much of it brings me to instant nostalgia (incidentally the name of his new song).  It was wonderful.

Today was super busy too.  Way back in January when I was making resolutions that I've broken, I signed up for the Sporting Life 10K to motivate myself to get back into running.  Well, it didn't work.  However, I decided that since plenty of people walk it, I might as well too, and that's what I did. Today was a hot and humid day that felt more like June, so even though I just walked, it was sweaty and tiring.  However, I felt better that I didn't give up, and even though I have blisters on the bottom of my feet, it was fun.  I went to the Jays game right after the walk in my close, and I hope I wasn't too smelly... The game kind of sucked because they lost again, argh, and I didn't even get to see my boyfriend Russell Martin play since Dickey was pitching so Thole was catching.

After the game I came home and had a nap, and then did some more reference letter writing and lesson planning.  I didn't even touch the marking pile.  Oh well.  There's always next week, right?

April is over...

... thank goodness  It was a demanding month, and I'm still struggling to keep my head above water.

Politics are bringing my morale down.  It sucks.

I find solace in watching baseball games on TV and drinking beer.  Man, I gotta cut back on beer.

Lots of fun stuff coming up in May though.  A musical, a couple of concerts, and a couple of live ball games will help.

And sleep and self care.  That will help too.

So I think it's time for us to have a toast.

It was an okay weekend.  I socialized a bit, binged on Kimmy Schmidt a bit, and did some work.

I have one more big deadline on April 30th, and then my month of craziness of work will end, and I really want to take May easy and spend some time on self-care: spa appointments, getting myself reacquainted with the gym, eating healthy, etc.

I've been thinking a lot about the summer and my summer goals.  Usually I travel a lot in the summer.  Heck, I've had summers where I spend more days away than here.

This summer I have couple of small trips planned: a baseball road trip to Detroit to see the Jays vs. Tigers with my baseball buddies, and Las Vegas to meet up with my friends Claire and Mariah Carey.

However, I'm thinking I'm not going to do much other than that.  There is some labour unrest for Ontario teachers these days; my union is actually in strike position.  It would be prudent to be careful with my cash these days.  More importantly, I want some time to work on the following during the summer:

• get my bike fixed so I can ride it to the gym;
• spend my mornings in the gym getting back to strength-training, running, and yoga;
• drink lots of coffee;
• eat healthy and cook for myself;
• read lots of books;
• do some nerdy cross-stitch;
• write letters and postcards to friends afar;
• watch baseball;
• declutter my home and deal with the clothing situation

Of course, there's always the possibility that I'll pack my bags and go to somewhere random.  However, I feel the summer of 2015 might just be where I press a giant reset button on life and work on me.

Avalanche.

The gods of iTunes shuffle have put the Matt Good song Avalanche on and I forgot how much I love it.  I might just have to put it on repeat as I write.

Anyway, it's been a busy few days.  I think I've finally recovered from the at-school sleepover.  It was worth it though, as the kids had a great time.  Today one of the grade nines came up to me and told me how much fun she had and how she was going to do it again.  It was all worth it.

On Tuesday I took the Eco Club to the Science Centre for our annual trip. It was great and a nice break from being at school.

Every year at this time I get invited to an event that our school participates in.  Students get mentored in guitar by local police officers, and then one kid per school is chosen to play in a big showcase at a concert venue (one I go to for real shows!).  Anyway, it always seems to be a kid who knows me well enough to ask me to come watch and I do.  It's actually pretty fun, although this year I went by myself since my regular teacher pal who goes with me is on a leave.  Heck, anything that gets me out on a school night is a good time.  My student is a great guitar player too!

Other than the constant avalanche of work these days (I'm having a marking/planning weekend), stuff is good.  It's baseball season, and I finally got to meet up with my blog pal Aaron of The Void this Sunday at the game!

And that's the end of my update.

Taking a moment.

Right now the fasting-for-charity teenagers are happily sewing sock monkeys and drinking juice. Some colleagues of mine were kind enough to stop by and help out, so instead of making a monkey for the fifth time, I've come outside to enjoy sunshine, fresh air, and solitude.

I'm sitting in the city park across the street from my school. I can see my classroom window, and think fondly about how the room is quiet for the weekend, but it'll be back to normal by Monday. 

I've given ten working years to this place, and even though some days it frustrates the hell out of me, I'm glad that I've come to think of this quirky little building as my home.

Overload

As far as weekends go, this one was quiet.  There was some drinks, some brunch, and a few errands, and happily I did not open my backpack to do any marking.

Now it's on to a super busy week.  Report cards are due on Thuraday and I'm frantically trying to get a few more sets of assignments marked in time.  Tonight I got a major set of lab reports marked while watching the baseball game, so that feels like an accomplishment.

Last night I went to the Jays' home opener.  No marking got done.  They lost.

Oh and I have a houseguest.  My pal Vern got a job in the city and needed a place to stay this week.

And Friday is a big student council event where kids fast for charity and sleep overnight at school. I sleep there too.

Is it summer yet?

Baseball

Thank goodness the season started.  I'm going to make a bold statement here.  I like watching baseball more than I like watching Netflix.

Home opener is on Monday.  I'll be there.  Next Sunday is Jose Bautista bobblehead day.  I'll be there.

The Jays took 2/3 of their first series at Yankee Stadium which is significant, since Yankee Stadium is their Achilles heel.  Last year they broke a something like 19 game losing streak there.  Damned Yankees.

I like how this season is starting.  2 HRs so far for my man EE.

Also myself from two years ago is in shock how die hard into baseball my current self is.

Long Weekend

I had a rather chill long weekend.  The pile of marking I lugged home from school, and then all the way to Stratford and back, has barely a dent in it.  Oh well.

Things I did, in point form:

• Started watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix, which is hilarious and amazing.
• Did a little bit of shopping in Stratford where I splurged on a new Jays' hat.
• Watched four movies with my parents (Gone Girl, St. Vincent, The Theory of Everything, Maleficent).  I crafted a cute little cross-stitch fox as I watched.  I want to craft more while I watch things.
• Got a little bit of exercise in. 
• Caught up on sleep.
• Watched the Jays' exhibition games in Montreal.
• Watched Jays vs NYY opening day game which was amazing.  We won 6-1.  Please be representative of the season.

And that was my chill long weekend.

Reading habits as of late.

I've been quite bookish so far this year.  Sometimes, life will get ahead of me, and I'll go a few weeks without finishing a book.  However, thanks to a bit of down time during March Break and my current obsession with getting ebooks from the Toronto Public library, I've been reading quite a lot lately following a dry spell in late February/early March.

This year, I've seemed to solely read fiction with a focus on mystery/thrillers for the most part. During the school year, I crave escapism in my literary adventures, and I've found that my favourite escape these days is in a good mystery/thriller that also has an interesting theme and/or plot twist.

I've also noticed that as I have all of my life, I read a majority of books written by women.  I can go on and on about sexism in the literary world.  I closely follow writer Jennifer Weiner on Twitter because I like her books and her super hilarious tweets about The Bachelor.  However, I'm come to appreciate her also for being vocal about how books written by men are reviewed much more frequently than books written by women.  Books written by male authors, such as Jonathan Franzen and Jeffery Eugenides, that are about "women-centric" subjects like relationships and family are widely praised and reviewed, whereas similar books written by women are often belittled as "chick-lit".  Lori Lansens wrote an excellent novel called "The Girls" which is a fascinating story of the lives of conjoined twins.  I was dismayed when the paperback edition of this novel was slapped with a bright pink flowered covered that would scare off most men from reading this worthy story.  Of course, the fact that the colour pink is feared by men is another way in which the feminine is looked down upon in our society but that's another rant.

Anyhow, the point of this is that with entrenched sexism in literature, I don't really feel that bad about my very skewed reading habits.  However, I read an article somewhere earlier in the year (probably on Buzzfeed, I'm sure) about how a great new year's resolution would be to read more books by diverse authors since it's important to read stories about people who are underrepresented like women of colour, other ethnicities, and authors from the LGBTQ community; not to mention how important it is to support these authors so that there is more diversity in what gets published.

Anyhow, I have read a couple of amazing books in the past few months that are notable.  I love Roxane Gay's collection of essays "Bad Feminist" and her novel "An Untamed State" was excellent although brutal and graphic (not a light read). Celeste Ng's "Everything I Never Told You" because not only is it a fascinating look at an Asian American family and the prejudice faced by this community (which is entirely underrepresented in all forms of media), it's kind of a murder mystery!

This year I also want to read novels by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and Helen Oyeyemi.  Are there any other books/authors that you'd recommend that would help me in my goal about increasing the diversity in my reading?

I, I do it all the time.

Today as I was marking with a friend/colleague in my local Starbucks I said "You know, I'm more on top of this marking stuff than I was last year.  That's good news."

It's true, I am.  I am teaching the same course that I did exactly a year ago, and it provides a good benchmark for me.  For example, a lab report that I was frantically marking on the plane back from France for March Break last year, was marked way before March Break this year.

Then I paused to think.  "However, I am completely losing the work/life balance battle this year, so I guess I'm not that good."

Last year I was in tip top physical condition, and training for a half marathon.  Today's exercise was walking to Starbucks to mark.  I had a backpack on though, so extra weight, ha-ha!

Basically, I think I can win one or the other: life or work.  Last year I was winning life, but I know I was more stressed with work.  This year I'm winning work, but I'm way more stressed about life.

HOW CAN I WIN BOTH?

That's the million dollar question that I'm going to be trying to crack ASAP.

A Decade.

It's March 23rd, 2015.  This means that I've had this blog for a decade.  Ten entire years.  Holy shit. (I've even set the date and time of this posted so it posts EXACTLY ten years from my first post. Details, that's how I roll.)

I've been composing this post in my head for quite awhile, since one of my many good blog friends reminded me that my decade blogoversary was approaching.  (FYI a traditional ten-year anniversary gift, according to Hallmark, is tin or aluminum.)

I started this blog on a complete whim.  2005, as all of my longtime blog friends will attest, because they most likely started their blogs in that year too, was the golden age of blogging.  I spent a lot of time reading musician Matthew Good's blog back then, and when he started linking to fans' blogs on his, I decided I should start a blog, and when it got good, I would send him the link.  He stopped that linking practice long before I ever would have considered sending him the link to this blog.

Heck, I never even came up with a title for this thing.  That's what "Permanent Title Currently Under Construction" means.  When I had a to fill in a blog title, I blanked, typed that in, with the good intention of thinking of something clever that describes the content of this blog, whatever that would be.

Ten years later, I can comfortably say that the content of this blog is me.

I don't think I ever thought anything would really become of this blog.  Sure, there are some bloggers that have found internet fame, or even book deals from their blogs, but that's the equivalent of a Little Leaguer making it to the big leagues.  However, I can honestly say that this blog did change the course of my life.

I know that if I'd never started this blog there are so many people I would not have met, trips that I would never have taken, friendships never forged, connections never made, bridal squads that would have been minus their token Canadian member, concerts not attended, postcards never sent, and memories never made.

I have friendships that have almost lasted just as long as this blog.  My blog friends live across the country, in other countries, and across oceans but some of those friendships are concrete as anything in my own city.  Heck, it really helps because if a girl can't sleep because she's going through a nasty breakup, she's got friends in all timezones to hear about her heartbreak and make her feel better.

I've got travel buddies who will host me in their city, come visit me in my city, or we'll just meet up in some other random city.

Most of my blogging friends stopped their blogs long ago.  Some of us hang on, and usually for the same reason, and the very reason why I keep hanging on.  I've never been able to keep a journal, or any sort of record of my life, but for some reason I've been able to use this medium to write about me for ten whole years.

After all this time, I have a cool journal, and I've met people that have become my dear friends.  I am so thankful for this.

I'm going to end this post with a picture of me.  Back in 2005, I was adamant that I would never post a picture of myself on this blog because what if someone came across it and knew it was mine?  I used to send early blog buddies emails with pictures if they wondered what I looked like.  Anyway, here's a recent selfie (hah! a word that didn't exist in 2005) that I like.  I'm in my classroom, in front of the chalkboard, wearing my green cat hoodie.  The lighting is good and I liked how it turned out, so here I am.

Decade #1 out.  Here's to decade #2.