Sitcom

Over the years it's become more and more evident to me that I work in really what is a sitcom.  It's the high school version of The Office, but no one interviews me.  (How I wish someone would!!) Often I look around for the cameras that might be filming me so I can make a face a la Jim or Pam.

On today's episode my class was happily at work doing a lab on lenses, when one of the secretaries came over the PA and said "would whoever removed the Scantron machine from the staff room please return it?"

I started laughing out loud.  "Oh no!  That's the worst news ever!  How am I supposed to mark multiple choice? By hand?  Oh man, guys, the teachers are all going to be panicking!"

But seriously, the big mystery to me is who in their right might moved the Scantron machine.  It's big, heavy and bulky.  Who the heck has that much Scantronning to do??  If you have a test, it takes maybe two minutes to zip thirty cards through...  The only big Scantronning job that I know of are student council elections, but it's me who uses it to count the ballots. And I don't take the bloody machine with me!  And that's not even til next week!

The sad part about being a character on a sitcom is that you don't get to see what's happening outside your own scenes.  I'm sure the whole Scantron machine moving incident and its return (it was back by the end of the day) was hilarious, but I didn't get to see it.  But my people are looking into getting the whole story.

Oh young lions.

Just got back from an amazing Constantines show at Massey Hall.  It was probably the loudest rock show I'd been to in quite some time.

I got into the Cons back in my early twenties because they were often playing shows with my beloved Weakerthans.  I slowly warmed up to them, and I was a superfan by the time their last album came out in maybe around 2008.

They took a hiatus after that, but much to my happiness, they have started playing live shows again.  This was my first time seeing them in the past year.

There is something very special about seeing bands play songs you love that remind you of happy times.  That was what tonight was for me.

Confession

I skipped going to the Jays' game today to catch up on marking but I read a novel instead.

Long Weekend

Its the Monday morning of a long weekend, and I'm not sure where the weekend, or the week that preceded it, went.

The highlight of my past week was a field trip to the Ontario Science Centre with my grade 12 biology class.  I took them there to do a pretty intense 6-hour DNA fingerprinting lab.  It was a great experience because they got to do some protocol that's beyond the scope of a high school lab (PCR, gel electrophoresis) and they learned a lot.  And, they each got to see their genotype at a random locus on chromosome 1. It was a nice day.

And a great bonus was that since they are mature grade 12s, I could simply dismiss them from the OSC, and take a 20-min bus ride home as opposed to having to go back to school then home.

I spend the weekend with my parents watching crappy baseball games and relaxing.

It's crazy to think that in a month from now, exams will almost be over and it'll be almost summer.

Don't be crushed.

It was a busy weekend.

On Friday, I left school a little bit early thanks to a good friend who recognized my exhaustion and offered to supervise my regular Friday extracurricular activity.  It was much appreciated as I left the hot, sweaty, gross school building and went home to finish writing a reference letter and take a nap.

My good friend Vern (from high school days, Go9) has moved to Toronto so we had our first hang out now that she's got an apartment of her own and not living on my futon.  We braved the insanity of High Park to see the lovely cherry blossoms (although I saw lots in Vancouver in March, ha!).  Then I brought her to a cute little backyard patio for dinner and drinks.  It was a nice evening.

I could have been productive on Saturday, but instead of doing much, I sat on the couch and watched the baseball game. I didn't even mark while I watched. I struggle with these moments of complete unproductivity.  I am feeling stressed these days because I have a lot of marking, prep work, housework, errands, etc. piling up and then when I have a good chunk of time to work on them, I procrastinate and do nothing.  URGH.  I am my own worst enemy too often.

On Saturday evening, I took my friend Mathew as my +1 to the CBC for a neat little TV studio concert.  Hawksley Workman was previewing his upcoming album, Old Cheetah, on CBC's First Play Live.  I saw an invite to this on Twitter and replied on Tuesday and made it on the guest list.  The audience surrounded the band in a circle, and it was really intimate and wonderful.  He played some old stuff (even opened with Don't Be Crushed) and the new songs were wonderful.  I've been listening to Hawksley's music for fifteen years and so much of it brings me to instant nostalgia (incidentally the name of his new song).  It was wonderful.

Today was super busy too.  Way back in January when I was making resolutions that I've broken, I signed up for the Sporting Life 10K to motivate myself to get back into running.  Well, it didn't work.  However, I decided that since plenty of people walk it, I might as well too, and that's what I did. Today was a hot and humid day that felt more like June, so even though I just walked, it was sweaty and tiring.  However, I felt better that I didn't give up, and even though I have blisters on the bottom of my feet, it was fun.  I went to the Jays game right after the walk in my close, and I hope I wasn't too smelly... The game kind of sucked because they lost again, argh, and I didn't even get to see my boyfriend Russell Martin play since Dickey was pitching so Thole was catching.

After the game I came home and had a nap, and then did some more reference letter writing and lesson planning.  I didn't even touch the marking pile.  Oh well.  There's always next week, right?

April is over...

... thank goodness  It was a demanding month, and I'm still struggling to keep my head above water.

Politics are bringing my morale down.  It sucks.

I find solace in watching baseball games on TV and drinking beer.  Man, I gotta cut back on beer.

Lots of fun stuff coming up in May though.  A musical, a couple of concerts, and a couple of live ball games will help.

And sleep and self care.  That will help too.

So I think it's time for us to have a toast.

It was an okay weekend.  I socialized a bit, binged on Kimmy Schmidt a bit, and did some work.

I have one more big deadline on April 30th, and then my month of craziness of work will end, and I really want to take May easy and spend some time on self-care: spa appointments, getting myself reacquainted with the gym, eating healthy, etc.

I've been thinking a lot about the summer and my summer goals.  Usually I travel a lot in the summer.  Heck, I've had summers where I spend more days away than here.

This summer I have couple of small trips planned: a baseball road trip to Detroit to see the Jays vs. Tigers with my baseball buddies, and Las Vegas to meet up with my friends Claire and Mariah Carey.

However, I'm thinking I'm not going to do much other than that.  There is some labour unrest for Ontario teachers these days; my union is actually in strike position.  It would be prudent to be careful with my cash these days.  More importantly, I want some time to work on the following during the summer:

• get my bike fixed so I can ride it to the gym;
• spend my mornings in the gym getting back to strength-training, running, and yoga;
• drink lots of coffee;
• eat healthy and cook for myself;
• read lots of books;
• do some nerdy cross-stitch;
• write letters and postcards to friends afar;
• watch baseball;
• declutter my home and deal with the clothing situation

Of course, there's always the possibility that I'll pack my bags and go to somewhere random.  However, I feel the summer of 2015 might just be where I press a giant reset button on life and work on me.

Avalanche.

The gods of iTunes shuffle have put the Matt Good song Avalanche on and I forgot how much I love it.  I might just have to put it on repeat as I write.

Anyway, it's been a busy few days.  I think I've finally recovered from the at-school sleepover.  It was worth it though, as the kids had a great time.  Today one of the grade nines came up to me and told me how much fun she had and how she was going to do it again.  It was all worth it.

On Tuesday I took the Eco Club to the Science Centre for our annual trip. It was great and a nice break from being at school.

Every year at this time I get invited to an event that our school participates in.  Students get mentored in guitar by local police officers, and then one kid per school is chosen to play in a big showcase at a concert venue (one I go to for real shows!).  Anyway, it always seems to be a kid who knows me well enough to ask me to come watch and I do.  It's actually pretty fun, although this year I went by myself since my regular teacher pal who goes with me is on a leave.  Heck, anything that gets me out on a school night is a good time.  My student is a great guitar player too!

Other than the constant avalanche of work these days (I'm having a marking/planning weekend), stuff is good.  It's baseball season, and I finally got to meet up with my blog pal Aaron of The Void this Sunday at the game!

And that's the end of my update.

Taking a moment.

Right now the fasting-for-charity teenagers are happily sewing sock monkeys and drinking juice. Some colleagues of mine were kind enough to stop by and help out, so instead of making a monkey for the fifth time, I've come outside to enjoy sunshine, fresh air, and solitude.

I'm sitting in the city park across the street from my school. I can see my classroom window, and think fondly about how the room is quiet for the weekend, but it'll be back to normal by Monday. 

I've given ten working years to this place, and even though some days it frustrates the hell out of me, I'm glad that I've come to think of this quirky little building as my home.

Overload

As far as weekends go, this one was quiet.  There was some drinks, some brunch, and a few errands, and happily I did not open my backpack to do any marking.

Now it's on to a super busy week.  Report cards are due on Thuraday and I'm frantically trying to get a few more sets of assignments marked in time.  Tonight I got a major set of lab reports marked while watching the baseball game, so that feels like an accomplishment.

Last night I went to the Jays' home opener.  No marking got done.  They lost.

Oh and I have a houseguest.  My pal Vern got a job in the city and needed a place to stay this week.

And Friday is a big student council event where kids fast for charity and sleep overnight at school. I sleep there too.

Is it summer yet?

Baseball

Thank goodness the season started.  I'm going to make a bold statement here.  I like watching baseball more than I like watching Netflix.

Home opener is on Monday.  I'll be there.  Next Sunday is Jose Bautista bobblehead day.  I'll be there.

The Jays took 2/3 of their first series at Yankee Stadium which is significant, since Yankee Stadium is their Achilles heel.  Last year they broke a something like 19 game losing streak there.  Damned Yankees.

I like how this season is starting.  2 HRs so far for my man EE.

Also myself from two years ago is in shock how die hard into baseball my current self is.

Long Weekend

I had a rather chill long weekend.  The pile of marking I lugged home from school, and then all the way to Stratford and back, has barely a dent in it.  Oh well.

Things I did, in point form:

• Started watching The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix, which is hilarious and amazing.
• Did a little bit of shopping in Stratford where I splurged on a new Jays' hat.
• Watched four movies with my parents (Gone Girl, St. Vincent, The Theory of Everything, Maleficent).  I crafted a cute little cross-stitch fox as I watched.  I want to craft more while I watch things.
• Got a little bit of exercise in. 
• Caught up on sleep.
• Watched the Jays' exhibition games in Montreal.
• Watched Jays vs NYY opening day game which was amazing.  We won 6-1.  Please be representative of the season.

And that was my chill long weekend.

Reading habits as of late.

I've been quite bookish so far this year.  Sometimes, life will get ahead of me, and I'll go a few weeks without finishing a book.  However, thanks to a bit of down time during March Break and my current obsession with getting ebooks from the Toronto Public library, I've been reading quite a lot lately following a dry spell in late February/early March.

This year, I've seemed to solely read fiction with a focus on mystery/thrillers for the most part. During the school year, I crave escapism in my literary adventures, and I've found that my favourite escape these days is in a good mystery/thriller that also has an interesting theme and/or plot twist.

I've also noticed that as I have all of my life, I read a majority of books written by women.  I can go on and on about sexism in the literary world.  I closely follow writer Jennifer Weiner on Twitter because I like her books and her super hilarious tweets about The Bachelor.  However, I'm come to appreciate her also for being vocal about how books written by men are reviewed much more frequently than books written by women.  Books written by male authors, such as Jonathan Franzen and Jeffery Eugenides, that are about "women-centric" subjects like relationships and family are widely praised and reviewed, whereas similar books written by women are often belittled as "chick-lit".  Lori Lansens wrote an excellent novel called "The Girls" which is a fascinating story of the lives of conjoined twins.  I was dismayed when the paperback edition of this novel was slapped with a bright pink flowered covered that would scare off most men from reading this worthy story.  Of course, the fact that the colour pink is feared by men is another way in which the feminine is looked down upon in our society but that's another rant.

Anyhow, the point of this is that with entrenched sexism in literature, I don't really feel that bad about my very skewed reading habits.  However, I read an article somewhere earlier in the year (probably on Buzzfeed, I'm sure) about how a great new year's resolution would be to read more books by diverse authors since it's important to read stories about people who are underrepresented like women of colour, other ethnicities, and authors from the LGBTQ community; not to mention how important it is to support these authors so that there is more diversity in what gets published.

Anyhow, I have read a couple of amazing books in the past few months that are notable.  I love Roxane Gay's collection of essays "Bad Feminist" and her novel "An Untamed State" was excellent although brutal and graphic (not a light read). Celeste Ng's "Everything I Never Told You" because not only is it a fascinating look at an Asian American family and the prejudice faced by this community (which is entirely underrepresented in all forms of media), it's kind of a murder mystery!

This year I also want to read novels by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and Helen Oyeyemi.  Are there any other books/authors that you'd recommend that would help me in my goal about increasing the diversity in my reading?

I, I do it all the time.

Today as I was marking with a friend/colleague in my local Starbucks I said "You know, I'm more on top of this marking stuff than I was last year.  That's good news."

It's true, I am.  I am teaching the same course that I did exactly a year ago, and it provides a good benchmark for me.  For example, a lab report that I was frantically marking on the plane back from France for March Break last year, was marked way before March Break this year.

Then I paused to think.  "However, I am completely losing the work/life balance battle this year, so I guess I'm not that good."

Last year I was in tip top physical condition, and training for a half marathon.  Today's exercise was walking to Starbucks to mark.  I had a backpack on though, so extra weight, ha-ha!

Basically, I think I can win one or the other: life or work.  Last year I was winning life, but I know I was more stressed with work.  This year I'm winning work, but I'm way more stressed about life.

HOW CAN I WIN BOTH?

That's the million dollar question that I'm going to be trying to crack ASAP.

A Decade.

It's March 23rd, 2015.  This means that I've had this blog for a decade.  Ten entire years.  Holy shit. (I've even set the date and time of this posted so it posts EXACTLY ten years from my first post. Details, that's how I roll.)

I've been composing this post in my head for quite awhile, since one of my many good blog friends reminded me that my decade blogoversary was approaching.  (FYI a traditional ten-year anniversary gift, according to Hallmark, is tin or aluminum.)

I started this blog on a complete whim.  2005, as all of my longtime blog friends will attest, because they most likely started their blogs in that year too, was the golden age of blogging.  I spent a lot of time reading musician Matthew Good's blog back then, and when he started linking to fans' blogs on his, I decided I should start a blog, and when it got good, I would send him the link.  He stopped that linking practice long before I ever would have considered sending him the link to this blog.

Heck, I never even came up with a title for this thing.  That's what "Permanent Title Currently Under Construction" means.  When I had a to fill in a blog title, I blanked, typed that in, with the good intention of thinking of something clever that describes the content of this blog, whatever that would be.

Ten years later, I can comfortably say that the content of this blog is me.

I don't think I ever thought anything would really become of this blog.  Sure, there are some bloggers that have found internet fame, or even book deals from their blogs, but that's the equivalent of a Little Leaguer making it to the big leagues.  However, I can honestly say that this blog did change the course of my life.

I know that if I'd never started this blog there are so many people I would not have met, trips that I would never have taken, friendships never forged, connections never made, bridal squads that would have been minus their token Canadian member, concerts not attended, postcards never sent, and memories never made.

I have friendships that have almost lasted just as long as this blog.  My blog friends live across the country, in other countries, and across oceans but some of those friendships are concrete as anything in my own city.  Heck, it really helps because if a girl can't sleep because she's going through a nasty breakup, she's got friends in all timezones to hear about her heartbreak and make her feel better.

I've got travel buddies who will host me in their city, come visit me in my city, or we'll just meet up in some other random city.

Most of my blogging friends stopped their blogs long ago.  Some of us hang on, and usually for the same reason, and the very reason why I keep hanging on.  I've never been able to keep a journal, or any sort of record of my life, but for some reason I've been able to use this medium to write about me for ten whole years.

After all this time, I have a cool journal, and I've met people that have become my dear friends.  I am so thankful for this.

I'm going to end this post with a picture of me.  Back in 2005, I was adamant that I would never post a picture of myself on this blog because what if someone came across it and knew it was mine?  I used to send early blog buddies emails with pictures if they wondered what I looked like.  Anyway, here's a recent selfie (hah! a word that didn't exist in 2005) that I like.  I'm in my classroom, in front of the chalkboard, wearing my green cat hoodie.  The lighting is good and I liked how it turned out, so here I am.

Decade #1 out.  Here's to decade #2.

Nowhere We Cannot Go

This is my favourite song these days.  I'm very excited for the new Hayden album to come out next week.  I enjoy when I see an artist live a few times before an album's release.  It means I already know a few songs and have some special memories linked to them.

My Vancouver March Break trip definitely created some new memories for me, as well as evoked lots of fun memories from the past.  This was my third trip to Vancouver.  I saw some new places (The Art Gallery, Main Street, new restaurants, Becca T's new hood in Kits), but also revisited old places with the people with whom I'd first discovered them.

 I really enjoyed then Art Gallery, especially the exhibit on Chinese contemporary art, which had an amazing piece by Ai Wei Wei.  Another trip high light was a visit to a Hammam spa with Becca.  It was incredibly relaxing.  I enjoyed all of the shopping, walking, drinking, and chatting that I got to do with friends too.  I definitely feel relaxed upon return, even if my internal clock isn't quite back to Eastern time.

Yesterday was my first day back in Toronto.  I was lazy for the most part, but went for a lovely dinner, walk, and browse around the Eaton Centre with my pal Elaine.

I was on the hunt for the new Joel Plaskett album on vinyl, which I didn't find because it isn't on vinyl.  Too bad.  I got it when I came home, and also finally got the new Dan Mangan + Blacksmith album which I enjoy more now that I've seen it live a couple of times.

Today I'm going to pick up Rilo from my parents' house.  That truly does mean the end of the vacation.

West Coast

It's been a busy but relaxing trip so far.  I can't believe that I'm on my last day in Vancouver.

The first two days were super busy.  My flight here was really early in the morning, which meant that I had a super full day with only four hours' sleep and jet lag.  Probably the highlight of my first, busy day, other than seeing and catching up with friends, was the Hayden/Dan Mangan show at the Vogue Theatre.  It was definitely a show worth seeing in two cities.

Sunday morning was an early start to catch the ferry over to Victoria.  It was a lovely day of shopping in the rain despite the fact that I was exhausted.

This week I've had lots of lazy mornings, and time exploring the city.  I'm feeling relaxed and refreshed but not ready to go back that's for sure.  When I get home late tomorrow night it'll mean my break is almost over and it'll be back to the grind so soon.

Thankful

Today I realized how incredibly lucky I am.

I am pretty much booked solid for two weeks. I've made the effort to schedule in dinners with friends that I haven't seen in awhile, new friends, and I leave for Vancouver shortly.

At least one nice thing happens to me every day.  I think I'm up to four today.

I can maintain friendships that have started in the most random way possible (blogging) for spans of time that are approaching a decade.

I've traveled.  I'll travel some more.  Always with the travel.

I like my job.

I challenge my brain.

I read a lot.

I have a soundtrack for my life.

I love my little family and have a really nice cat.

I feel down sometimes, and I forget about all this stuff, but it's really nice when somehow my brain turns its spotlight on and I see it all.

Lent

My mother would always make me give up something for Lent.  I have memories of being a kid diligently abstaining from chocolate, pop, or French fries.  It was always a huge challenge, but I'd feel proud at the end when I got to eat whatever it was I gave up on Easter Sunday.  I remember the year that I gave up fries and my mom took me to McDonald's for Easter lunch.

A challenge of willpower is usually a good thing, I think.  I've often tried to give something up for Lent as an adult for the heck of it.  One year I gave up celebrity gossip, which was super challenging and good for my brain.  However, I usually do give up something edible, and since March Break falls during Lent, I haven't attempted to give anything up for a few years.

This year, I've so far given up fries, potato chips, and beer.  I've been drinking a lot of wine as a result! Haha.  Anyhow, I think beer's not going to last on the list much longer.  I have a couple of outings where I'm meeting new people, and beer's the perfect drink for such occasions.  Sugary cocktails upset my stomach, I ruined white wine for myself a long time ago, and I love red wine but I hate how it stains my teeth, tongue, and lips.  I need beer to deal with new people!

So perhaps I have given up beer with old friends for Lent.

ps So far I've made it with the fries. I guess I'll have to hit up the drive-thru on Easter Sunday for old time's sake.

I had an accident with a potato chip where a colleague had a bag open on her desk and I reached over, grabbed one, ate it, and then exclaimed "oh shit! I ate a chip! I gave those up for Lent!"

Random list of things I love these days.

1) Broadchurch - binged on series one last weekend, series two this weekend.  Now what, life?  I have a hard time transitioning from one TV show/book to the next.

2) Hayden - saw the man live last night and can't wait for his new album to come out at the end of March

3) Birthday parties at lunch - my group of friends at work have a lot of birthdays in February, which means that we actually make time to celebrate at lunch and eat cake

4) Reality TV shame night on Mondays - a guilty pleasure is a good way to start the week.

5) Longer days - the sun sets at a noticeable later time.

6) Lemonade - so refreshing!