Just a moment of weakness, I should examine my head.

Every now and then, I seriously contemplate getting rid of this thing.

I often feel over the whole blogging thing. I started it on a total whim, because I really liked Matthew Good's blog, and thought it was so cool that I got an inside look into one of my favourite musician's minds, and thought it'd be cool to publish my own thoughts on the internet. I think deep down I assumed that this would become like any other journal that I started: I'd be very faithful in writing for maybe a month and then there would be the inevitable "so it's been a year since I've written in this thing..." entry.

However, as you can see from my archives, my blog miracualously did not succumb to this pattern. Why? A lot of it is that a few months into blogging, I actually got *readers*, and the second reason is that I have learned to appreciate the history of myself that I have created on my blog. The other evening I couldn't sleep (I honestly think I'm still on San Fran time), and I caught myself reading through my own archives, and well it totally validated the upkeep of this blog. I loved being able to relive important moments in my life, like my various travels, birthdays, friendships, getting my permanent contract, and moving into my own place (Monday was my first year anniversary living in this apartment!).

So, I guess what I'm saying is that even though I've been tempted to click the delete blog button and disappear from the blogosphere, I don't think that I ever could because I could never ever erase 3+ years of my own history. It's funny how even the most meaningless of posts can bring me back to times in my life that I would have otherwise forgotten if it wasn't for this blog, and I'm glad that they are not lost.

Funny things I've noticed as I've randomly perused my archives:
a) I've more-or-less always used song lyrics as post titles. This came from the practice that one of my high school friends and I had of titling our emails when we were in university. I've noticed that I've inadvertantly repeated some of my favourites.
b) This still works even though I drew it three years ago.
c) I used to talk about my friends by inverting their initials (ie Becca T used to be TB), but I dropped this practice.
d) My top-ten most listened to songs on my iPod on Sept. 13/05 were:

1) Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars
2) Souvenirs - Christine Fellows
3) Sleeps with Butterflies - Tori Amos
4) Natural Disaster - Joel Plaskett
5) Every Day is a Holiday - Esthero
6) Mushaboom - Feist
7) Reunion - Stars
8) Lola Stars and Stripes - The Stills
9) All That I've Got - The Used
10) Agoraphobe - Matthew Good and Ryan Dahle

Now they are:

1) Sleeps with Butterflies - Tori Amos
2) Souvenirs - Christine Fellows
3) Light Years - Sloan
4) So Long, So Long - Dashboard Confessional
5) The Con - Tegan & Sara
6) Your Braids - Colin Munroe
7) In the Cinema Alone - Memphis
8) Reconstruction Site - The Weakerthans
9) Reunion Tour - The Weakerthans
10) Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars

e) I've always enjoyed making lists, especially lists about music.

Anyway, sometimes blogging can be a little narcissitic, it's true, but I've been a little bit sad lately (not sure why... think a trip home will do me good), and being able to seen a concrete record of my awesomeness helps. That and Stewart Smalley affirmations, and fun nights with friends, and a bit of social butterfly-ism.