I'm sure the darkness defines where the light is.

Oh, Paris.

I've probably been spending more time than is good for my mental health following Friday's attacks on Paris.

Some tragedies pack more of a punch on one's psyche for a myriad of reasons.  This one has really haunted me because it took place in my favourite foreign city.  I've visited Paris four times, and its streets, sights, smells, and sounds are ingrained in me.

The second reason that these tragedies are haunting me is that they affected innocent people doing things that I love to do: going to sports events, eating at cafes, and going to rock shows.

To think of people being targeted at events like these in a familiar city chills the fuck out of me.  I actually had a nightmare about violence at a concert the night after the attacks (I should have probably watched less coverage).  I actually went to a concert last night, and I felt so weird doing something that other people were killed doing the night before.

I've been reading a lot, and just not about Paris.  The day before there was a similar attack on innocent civilians in Beirut.  There was little coverage, and no global outpouring of grief.  Innocent people were doing every day things like going to the market, and lost their lives but it doesn't get the same coverage in the Western media because they look differently than we do, worship differently, and live in a part of the world where we assume that violent attacks are an every day thing.  We can so easily push that attack out of our minds.

I feel like absolute shit that Beirut has been ignored and what it means about humans.  And I am guilty of selective grief.  I think we live in a time where we are recognizing (and even fixing) so many of our failings.  There are valuable discussions going on about sexism, rape culture, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, body shaming, and so many other dangerous thought patterns that have hurt and oppressed many.  At the same time, there's a huge divide in how we react to tragedies that happen far away from us to people who are different than us.

We can do better.  Violence and hatred are definitely not the answers.

This Mr. Rogers quote has made me feel a bit better:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

We need love, light, and understanding for all people, no matter where they live, how they look, or who they worship.  I think understanding and helping will cure some of the world's evils far better than bombs or hate.