Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones.

I have an ostrich tendancy.

I try to keep my head in the sand about a lot of things in my life. I guess I feel that if I don't acknowledge them, I will lessen the effect they have on my life.

Today something I'd been burying my head about is facing me head on. In fact, I'd wager it's a multitude of things.

I think I joked previously in my blog about my dad's "shovel foot". My dad is an avid gardener and last year he found his digging foot was bothering him. The doctor thought it was arthritis, but this summer it turned out that it was due to a blockage in his arteries caused by far too many years of smoking. Ironically, I taught one of my classes about how plaque builds up in arteries this week.

(I found that growing up with a parent who smoked lead to me being totally disgusted by cigarettes and I've never even tried one.)

I think it was the end of August when he found out he'd have to have bypass surgery. The actual surgery seemed like it would be miles away then, but they've moved it up and he's going to have it tomorrow or Friday.

I'm terrified. I know that it will be okay and tonnes of people have this surgery (Letterman, Clinton... heck my roommate's dad had it in August) and are OK.

I'm also feeling very stressed for my mom. My mother is not well. She has multiple sclerosis and I worry about her being home alone while my dad is in the hospital.

I think I will spend some extra time at home this weekend. I don't know the details of how long my dad will be in the hospital, but I may take a couple of days away from work next week.

I also envision myself travelling home a lot in the next couple months.

Right now I feel that there is a lot of weight on my shoulders, and I'm terrified that it will crash down on me.