Dear Prime Minister Harper,
I’m not thrilled about you retaining the above title, not that there was a snowball’s chance in hell of you losing it. Thanks so much for providing us with the $300 million dollar exercise in futility that was last night’s election. A “stronger” minority is still a minority, and I guess Parliament will only slightly less “dysfunctional” than it was before you broke your own law and called the election. My only consolation is that I know that you are really pissed that you did not pull off a majority. All of that money spent on fuzzy sweaters went to waste.
Dear Newly Elected Canadian Parliament,
It’s up to you to put the “fun” back into “dysfunctional”!
Dear George Strombolopolous,
I can say without a doubt your “Darts and Laurels” segment before CBC’s election coverage was the most entertaining part of the evening. And you’re dreamy, smart, musically knowledgeable, environmentally friendly, and you live in Toronto. Why aren’t we dating?
Dear Fall-Out Boy,
I really like your new single “What A Catch, Donnie”. I even like the self-referential bits at the end, which some might consider lame. Please stop writing such fun catchy songs. I feel guilty for liking them. And then I end up admitting about this enjoyment on my blog. Maybe George S. has read all about this and that’s why we’re not dating…
Dear Jack’s Mannequin,
I love your new album and I’m really excited to see you live. Just so you know.
Dear Ben Folds,
My life’s dream is to see you play with a symphony orchestra. Just to let you know, Toronto does have a symphony orchestra, and I’m sure I’m not the only Torontonian who would love to see you play with them.
Dear Apartment,
You are very messy. Clean up after yourself please. What? You say that I made this mess? Okay, I admit it. So can you please clean up after me?
Dear Self,
Stop being so hard on yourself about various bullshit. You can be your own worst enemy. This is unnecessary since you are an awesome chick, even if you do like Fall Out Boy songs. Give yourself a break.
Sincerely,
Christielli
6 comments:
I like the fact that you wrote a letter to your apartment.
Fall out Boy is definetly the reason that you and George are not dating.
ha ha
joanna
(by the way, I can't remember my password so I am not required to post as anonymous)
dear christielli,
thank you for the most excellent post. love it.
on the plus side... those harper sweaters sure will help keep him toasty by the fireplace this winter, and he won't have to buy anymore of them this year.
Man that was a funny read!! I think my favorite was the letter to George - and the second to the apartment. I might have to start taking the same tone with mine!
Also my third favorite was the one to yourself and I think that you could easily change it to Dear Christy love Jolene :)
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