I'm standing up there in a weakened state, and it's not great.

Now that I’ve given my blog this snazzy makeover, I like being able to see my years of blogging neatly categorized into years over on my sidebar.

I’ve been blogging for four calendar years now. 2005 was when I started blogging. I was such a new teacher that year; I think most of my energy was spent earning my stripes as a teacher and getting a handle on my career, especially working in the challenging environment that is my school.

When I think of 2006, what stands out is the end of the year when I was struggling with not one, but two parents being quite ill. This was one of the hardest times of my life, and looking back I’m not sure how I mustered the strength to hold myself together, to keep working, and to travel back and forth to Stratford almost every weekend. But somehow I did.

2007 was the year I got a lot of things in my life in order. I felt that this was the year that I became the better, happier me that I’d always wanted to be, and I had great focus during that year.

However, I’ve felt that I’ve lost some of the determination, strength, and focus that I possessed in those earlier years during 2008. I’ve lost sight of some things that are important to me, and filled my life with things that are supposed to make me feel better, but don’t, really.

I guess what I’d really like is for the 2005/2006/2007 versions of me to come kick the current version of me in the ass and get me back on the right track. Of course, determining the right track is always a little tricky, but I’d trust those girls to find it a lot more than I’d trust this girl here.

Okay, pity party out. Back to regularly scheduled fluff in future posts. Writing that down has just made me feel a heck of a lot better. Also, the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend with a *free* trip home and not one, but two get-togethers with my fabulous friends from high school, who are so are so great at anchoring me, and who are great at reminding me how awesome I am. A trip back home will root me far better than a Coach purse, a late night out partying, endless social butterflying, shoes I don't need, ice cream, caffeinated beverages, or an overpriced hoodie ever will.